First things first, in that order:
Baroness Sells Books: A Tom Lingquist Mystery by Joseph Adorno (that's ME) is available now, only at
Amazon,
The plot:
Now, in my previous post regarding this book, I toyed with imagining the cast of a film adaptation; this time, I'm imagining the soundtrack...a Needle-Drop Playlist..'Needle-Drop' being the unofficial term often-used when, for example, to describe director Martin Scorsese's ability to insert pop music into his films and integrate them into his narrative to inform and underpin, but never undermine his narratives..it's a gift.
Here's how it'll work: I'll name the song and artist and describe the moments in which they are meant to be heard in the background; you can listen to them while reading the book, certainly; you can even combine this with my casting choices and picture it all coming together in your imagination. Obviously, there's no original score, which would've found a way to integrate the insertion of these songs, or even sample them to inspire riffs on them; a big-budget adaptation, really - a modestly-budgeted version would probably just have the songs and no score..and no room for Leo as Tom Linguist, though it might get Jenna Ortega as Melody..Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood..
Which is why I'm insisting this is a playlist for the
book..available at
Amazon
Let's begin:
1. Jafu - "Bag of Tricks" (2013): This instrumental number makes a nice opening theme, introducing us to my detective, Tom Lingquist, his office, his friend - attorney Alexandra "Alex" Waidbern (the closest I get to giving him a Watson in this book) and introducing his newest case, which leads to..
2. Jonathan Snipes and William Hutson - "Barry Lyndon Is A Boring Movie" (2013): Another instrumental number, with the most misleading title ever - it was created as an original piece for the documentary, ROOM 237, a speculative film in which fans of THE SHINING present theories and observations about the movie and its director, Stanley Kubrick; this music appeared in a scene where one of the fans posits that Kubrick made The Shining to escape from his ennui, which was manifesting in his work (or so the guy says); he believed that Kubrick, 'With an I.Q. of about 200', made BARRY LYNDON while he was 'bored...BARRY LYNDON is a very boring movie'; the composers must have found that remark so amusing, they decided to name the original music created for that scene after it, thus leading to a lot of confusion on YouTube, where irate fans of Kubrick are quick to vent their anger without being in on the joke.
For my intents and purposes, I imagined this music plays anytime that the story dwells upon the mysterious death of Adrian Hernandez and his book, BARONESS HOLLY.
3. The Midnight - "Helvetica" (2020): yeah, another instrumental number, but I thought it was cute, to be heard while reading the scene introducing Tom's apartment, or the scenes between himself and Alex.
4. Trauma Cat - "Popcorn Machine" (2020): the first song with vocals on the playlist; I found it hilarious that it's essentially a riff on the old 'Let's all go to the lobby' jingle; to be played and replayed with any scene in the book with Tom arriving for work at the multiplex, Persephone29, as well as any scenes during his various shifts.
5. Roman Holiday - Don't Try To Stop It (1983): I LOVE this song! I have no idea why it's become so obscure, but I remember first hearing it in the mid-80's, as a kid, when it was included as a series of music videos by Hanna-Barbera called HBTV, which would take the songs & vocals and mash them with an assortment of stock footage from their library to create a 'music video', similar to what Disney was doing with DTV around the same time:
The song fits perfectly with scenes of Tom, Melody and Rob setting up the concession stand, along with the subsequent chase scene up the escalators...don't try to stop it, don't try to stop it..I might also add that the song sounds like another riff on the 'Let's All Go To The Lobby' jingle.
6. Fire, INC. - "Nowhere Fast" (1984): this is just in here because it's mentioned in the book, but no lyrics are quoted; it's alluded to being used in a film I made-up for the world within-the-book, titled PINK BLAZE. Once that song is name-dropped, as soon as you look it up, it will stay in your brain for awhile; it's become obscure because it's not identified with a particular singer; the female lead vocals were actually an autotuned mix of 3 different singers.
7. Rema, ft. Selena Gomez - "Calm Down" (2022): this song gets mixed in a lot of TIkTok videos and shorts on social media; in the book, it gets used in a bit of dark comedy, the aftermath of Rob taking his big...leap.
8. The Scarlet Pimpernel (Musical)/Terrence Mann - "Where's The Girl?" (1997): Simply, in my opinion, the best song in the musical adaptation of Baroness Emma Orczy's adventure novel. Particularly effective juxtaposition with the sequences where Lingquist begins to doubt his own line of inquiry and ponder if he's going on a wild goose chase.
9. `Panski & John Skyfield Phil Collins cover mix - "In The Air Tonight" - (House mix, 2018): this is interesting..a remix of a Phil Collins classic, it has a different vibe, different energy; when I first heard it, I thought it would've been perfect for a BATGIRL movie trailer to set the mood just right..particularly if the producers hadn't cast a relative unknown in the lead and cast Lily Collins as Barbara Gordon..yeah, I still can't get over what might've been:
Who's that girl?..Batgirl.
And the Michael Keaton cameo
One more:
One for the road:
Moving on, this song is mentioned playing as part of the playlist heard at Jill's, the restaurant Tom goes to for the beginning of his date with Esther, one of his co-workers; this is the first of 3 songs name-dropped in the book during this key scene. The 2nd song is...
10. The Midnight - "Vampires" (Instrumental, 2016): another Instrumental version of a song in which the instrumental version is arguably superior to the original version, which has vocals, yet the instrumental version realizes how music has a vibe that can be reworked to various moods; in this case, it's another song playing at Jill's restaurant, played after Esther has arrived to meet with Tom and their conversation picks up.
11. Layo & Bushwacka! - "Blind Tiger" (2002): THIS is another song that's fallen into obscurity, but deserves more attention; it was featured in a segment of THE MATRIX tie-in sequel, THE ANIMATRIX, titled, "A DETECTIVE STORY"..and in THIS book, it is name-dropped as the final song playing at Jill's restaurant during Tom and Esther's time there, particularly right after the moment when a jar of pills spills out of Esther's handbag...
12. Madonna - "Who's That Girl?" (1987),
13. Eve - "Who's That Girl?" (2001),
And..
14. Eurythmics - "Who's That Girl?" (1983): for the end I thought it would be fitting to not JUST have one, but all THREE best-known pop songs titled "Who's That Girl?"; I took some care to arrange the order in which they appear on the list; they sorta lead into each other. 'Who IS Baroness Holly?' is the mystery that drives the book; by the end, the mystery is solved, though the songs serve as an extra coda to the one that appears in the final chapter.
And there you have it: "Baroness Sells Books: A Tom Lingquist Mystery" - The Needle-Drop Playlist.
Have a Happy Reading Experience!
