Friday, April 1, 2016

#Top5ComicBooks of 2015 #1: "Amazing Spider-Man #1", Vol. 4

When I was a kid, I always thought Spider-Man was a rich guy. Those gadgets must cost serious money..no way could he afford an apartment (albeit a crappy one) in NYC by taking pictures of himself in costume for millionaire cheapskate J. Jonah Jameson; he'd be better-off shaking down tourists for tips after posing for free photos on Times Square with the other shabbily-dressed cosplayers. Plus, the toys always showed he owned a multitude of vehicles at his disposal - cars, motorcycles, jetplanes, helicopters..and he lives in Forest Hills!! Peter Parker, you rich, boy.

Let's be honest...Spider-Man was always a miserable read. Who gives this book to children? A guy who can't win because his life is doomed. Why can't he win? Why is Parker plagued with bad luck? Because he sucks. He was a sap..perhaps he is destined to remain a sap. At least he's a rich sap now. Money buys time, money pays bills, money pays ideas forward...better to have money and be a guy who inadvertently killed his girlfriend and got his marriage annulled by the Devil so that his 90-year-old Aunt could continue preparing meals for him than a guy with dick in the bank who inadvertently killed his girlfriend and got his marriage annulled by the Devil so that his 90-year-old Aunt could continue preparing meals for him...let him play Ted Kord for a while.

And a happy April Fools Day to everyone. :)

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