A Summer of Sherlock

Last month, I got my hands on four Sherlock Holmes books that I've been wanting to read for a long time - all written by other authors than Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Sherlock Holmes pastiches are a sub-genre of sorts;  you never know what you're gonna get.  I remember attempting to read Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula around 2000 and giving up because I couldn't figure out where Loren D. Estleman was going with it after a long sequence describing a cargo ship that had been ravaged after a vampire attack.

That reading had been with a copy borrowed from the library. This time, I'm giving it a 2nd chance because I own it now. The challenge (which you can follow along), is to read one Sherlock Holmes pastiche a month through this coming summer. I'll review the book I read, promote the next book I'll read, review that, and so on. To start, I'll just review the first book right now...because it was a library copy and I had to return it...

The Perils of Sherlock Holmes by Loren D.  Estleman

Encapsulate the plot of this book in one sentence?

A collection of short Sherlock Holmes mysteries and essays by the author includes encounters with Fu Manchu creator Sax Rohmer, Doc Holliday,  the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future...and a new revelation about The Shadow's link to the world's greatest detective.

What's your verdict?

Nice. Estleman's specialty is writing crossovers, so we get a lot of that here. In this case, I get the feeling that these were ideas for potential novels that wound up as short stories instead, for whatever reason.  They're essentially skits, sketches...I was more impressed with the essays. I remember "On The Significance of Boswells" was the introductory essay in Signet's two-volume paperback reprints of the canonical stories by Doyle; it's a great profile of Dr. Watson which was updated to include Estleman's praise of the two recent movies with Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law as Holmes & Watson, though he makes no mention of Benedict Cumberbatch & Martin Freeman, which is...interesting. I wonder if he's seen that, or even Johnny Lee Miller & Lucy Liu?

And then there's "Was Sherlock Holmes the Shadow? (A trifle)"...if I needed just one reason to pick up this book, here it is. Estleman muses on Sherlock Holmes,  post-"His Last Bow", moving to the United States and applying his skills and resources in distinctly new ways to take on 20th Century evil...wherever it may dwell...even suggesting that Watson, Irene  Adler and brother Mycroft joined in on the fun, under different names,  of course. It almost makes me want to check our those reprints of old Shadow pulp novels...then I remember I've already tried reading those...but it's a great essay.

So...next time, I'll review Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula...and see if the 2nd times the charm. The book is available in stores and online in a cool new paperback edition,  so feel free to check it out...and tell me if it's good to keep me from bailing out...

A Document On A Documentary...

I've watched and rewatched all three episodes of Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle, the documentary about comic book superheroes that premiered this month on PBS several times now. This is the newly-revised history of the genre, because it ignored a few big watershed events in comic book history...probably because they're not as relevant as they used to be, but if you know the history of superhero comics, then you were just watching for fun...I'm not certain if new audiences were aware if anything was missing.

There were some surprises. The Neal Adams-Denny O'Neill run on Green Lantern/Green Arrow is now regarded as high-end material, yet for a long time, was considered condescending, clunky, creaky, preachy "junk" - a form of lip service - ditto the "I am Curious (Black)" issue of Lois Lane; these stories were marketed towards parents buying comics reluctantly for their kids - "Maybe they'll learn something!" ...like learn that they should buy the books they want themselves?...;)

I knew they were going to bring up the 9-11 issue of Amazing Spider-Man..that's become law now...let me put it this way: that issue of that comic is no better or worse than other very special issues, only it's connection to a real-life tragedy keeps it relevant to the real world, so it's stuck around more than anything Marvel's done with Spider-Man in the last 30 years, an event keeping company alongside the faux "Wedding of Spider-Man & Mary Jane Watson" ceremony at Shea Stadium (a ballpark that no longer exists), or Todd McFarlane drawing Spidey's webbing like spaghetti (The spaghetti webs rival the nipples on George Clooney's Batman costume in terms of unimportant details that people with no lives obsess over).

So what did they miss? First off, they ignored Marvel's Secret Wars series. This wasn't the first time Marvel tried a big crossover storyline, but it was the first to capture the imagination of the audience and work well as a tie-in to sell toys. One of the first action figures I owned was a Doctor Octopus figure from Secret Wars; I let him have one last brawl with my Spider-Man figure before bidding it adios earlier this year. I'm well-aware that this series is panned nowadays for it's clunky writing and journeyman art (harsher words have been said about it), but it was a huge hit for Marvel in the 1980s.

Another big hit that was ignored by this program was Crisis On Infinite Earths. THIS is the one omission getting buzzed about across the web; it's still highly-regarded, DC Comics is still using it as a brand for various spinoffs that have capitalized on it/played off it, or given them the confidence to proceed with equally audacious events like The Death of Superman, Knightfall, Zero Hour, Kingdom Come, DC One Million, Batman: No Man's Land, Our World's At War, Infinite Crisis, 52, Countdown, Blackest Night, Flashpoint, Before Watchmen (an event that would have been unthinkable even when the film adaptation was made, for various reasons - long story) and MORE!  Now, I'll be the first to admit that when I first tried reading this series I didn't really understand what was happening (or what, beyond the "Where's Waldo"-ness of it, was the story REALLY was about) until I read two or three tie-ins that were published sometime after, but I understand why was it important, and the effort put into it is something that we really won't see again and has not been equaled - an exhaustive effort, with none of the shortcuts that our current generation of wannabe-rockstar writers & artists can match...but I know why this program skipped it..

It's yesterday's news. Supergirl has been alive and well for almost a decade, the Earth2 concept is back in action, along with the whole "Mutiverse" concept, Barry Allen is the Flash again, the Huntress was just recently revealed to have been Helena Wayne all along, Batgirl survived the events of The Killing Joke...I'm not sure if Clayface is Matt Hagen again, though. Anyway, it's still a good story, but it doesn't support the real argument this program is trying to make..

So...what was Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle all about? Their impact on film. Movies! Superhero movies - they've become a new genre now, separate from fantasy or adventure or action movies, so the program devoted three hours to arguing the cinematic element of those comic books and, reading between the lines, how they've become more palatable for Hollywood. A series like Crisis would only highlight the cynical, cyclical nature of how these "event" storylines can burn away audiences (a subject they danced around when they got to the 90s). The only comics this program made me want to go look for in a comic shop were Jim Steranko's Nick Fury, Agent of SHEILD, which is a bit sad, in the wake of Samuel L. Jackson's creaky Nick Fury on film and Marvel's Agents of B.O.R.I.N.G on television...Marvel still doesn't know how to tell entertaining spy stories.

So...if you're interested in a documentary about comic books that really makes you want to check them out, as well as understand how the medium can work as a legitimate art form, look for Comic Book Confidential. It's over twenty years old, but it's on DVD and has more to say in a shorter amount of time.

What? Not Impressed?

DC Comics is "..living the interesting times" lately - where can they not go wrong? Type "DC Comics controversy" on Google and see what you get.

It seems they got their Forever Evil event going, but with an old trick from the 1990s: the gimmick cover. What's being described as a "3D cover" is what I alwys identified as a "Wiggle card", but upon close inspection, is a combination of wiggle and 3D; the image does not wiggle, but it has the depth of field promised by 3D, and the image is clear and viewable without kitschy glasses.

The big controversy surrounding this event is that gimmick may have been added late in the game and there are more "standard" editions on stands then copies with the 3D covers. Retailers are hoping that people will buy the regular copies anyway to check out the stories because they're otherwise stuck with unsold comics that will eventually end up in the half-dollar box, particularly if it features a character that's unpopular.

Anyway...when I went to the comic shop, I only saw two comics with 3D covers available: The Riddler & The Creeper. The Riddler story was tied-in to a Batman arc that I haven't been following (I wait for the library to carry trades of a lot of the recent superhero storylines; I'm waiting for them to carry Before Watchmen as well, and Batman: Death of The Family - NOT "A Death In The Family", in case you were wondering). As for Creeper ... the cover looks fantastic, but the book is offering a new take on the character...a character who...well, most creators have had a hard time figuring out who or what The Creeper is; his appearance on Batman: The animated Series was a rare lucky break. The new take by Ann Nocenti & Chriss Cross (not Christopher "sailin'" Cross, in case you were wondering) seems inspired by legends/folklore from Japan about demons - Oni (not Oni the comics publisher, in case you were wondering). It's okay, but I wonder if the original Steve Ditko design has been given the boot, or if this was just some new mythology Nocenti was setting up. I did notice that the cover was a faint nod to the Creeper's first appearance in DC Showcase.

I flipped through the  standard issues offered...none of the stories really caught my attention, although the event is not finished yet - there's supposedly a revival of the Duela Dent "Joker's Daughter" character coming up (also by Ann Nocenti)..and I'm sure the 3D covers WILL turn up - marked-up, of course. It's really saying a lot that this event is the one bright spot in a rather schizzy summer for the company.

"The Sundry Scribbler - Part 5: Conclusion"

                               The Adventure of The Sundry Scribbler
                                                                  
                                            Part 5: Conclusion

                                                        By

                                              Joseph Adorno



 Sherlock's face gave off an expression that I've seen before on many occasions: it's his contemplative stare. He makes this face whenever he is offered to take on a case. The outcome is always unpredictable.

 "No, thank you," he replied to Blake.

 "Oh?" was Blake's response.

 "Yes. Oh yes. If I did not believe the matter to be in capable hands, I would have stirred into action, but oh no, Blake, you are far more capable than myself. You have read of my work; there is little to suggest that i make a habit of venturing outside feats of pure ratiocination, for that is where my true powers lie."

 "I know, Holmes - 'ghosts need not apply' - as you once boldly put. Still - I invite your input. Would you care to wager how this will play out?"

 Holmes smiled and reached into the pocket of his coat. He drew out his notepad and pencil. "Of course! I will write down a solution gathered from what I have learned today and only today. You may look at it now or - as I would prefer - lock it away until afterward to see how right I was." He tore off a page and handed it to Blake, who motioned to Blyth, who took the note from him and placed it discreetly in the reminds of a battered writing desk drawer.

 Blake faced Sherlock. "Mr. Holmes, it was a pleasure meeting you today. I hope someday we will encounter a perplexing problem that complements both of  our distinctive powers without compromising each other's dignity."

 Holmes scoffed at that remark. "That's nonsense, Blake, and we both know it. Though I do wonder if you might benefit from a talk with my brother Mycroft, who is knowledgeable in the affairs of Mr. Plummer and Mr. Ling. I doubt you would be surprised. I'll contact him if you wish to meet him."

 "No, thank you," he replied to Holmes. "I already know."


                                                                        ***

 We were settled back in our chairs at 221B, which felt odd in the sense that we had already glimpsed how it would look if an incendiary device exploded within it.

 "Holmes, what did you mean by 'I already know'? Why didn't you accompany Mr. Blake in preventing such an incredible theft?"

 Holmes struck a match and lit his pipe. "I couldn't reveal much in front of Mr. Blyth - I'm sure Blake trusts him, but he is practicing the same avocation as you, Watson - chronicling his friend's cases. Besides, the theft should carry on as Mycroft intended."

 I could not believe this revelation. "Holmes! Explain!"

 "Things are not as they seem, old friend. The disappearance of Westin Pall may seen like a faraway memory, but he is actually a known informer of George Plummer, who also works for Dr. Ferraro - another enemy of Sexton Blake. With a list of enemies as long as Blake's, it should come as no surprise that he would take such precautions to heighten his awareness. Pall's disappearance brought to light the fact that this caper must proceed as Mycroft coordinated it.

 "Dr. Ferraro and Prince Wu Ling are upstarts in London's underworld - they are attempting to keep the remnants of two distinct empires from evaporating - Professor Moriarty's and Dr. Fu Manchu. If they can be controlled into wasting their efforts on seemingly gainful ventures, then both organizations will be effectively dissolved beneath their noses."

 I spat at the mention of the letters in front of that last name. "If that devil is a doctor of any sort, then I am Colonel Blimp!!"

Holmes raised his hands. "Remain at ease - all is well. It is in Mycroft's best interests that Blake believe that Plummer is one of his arch foes, when in fact he is an agent of her majesty's new organized Secret Service. His acts of corruption allow him an established reputation and gain him access in places that even my best disguises would not allow me to enter."

"But what about Mr. Blake's vile siblings?"

"Oh, the threat from them is very real, but not as a deep organizing power - they're wild cards. Plummer has been doing his best to keep them on a short leash with the lure of the massive payoff in this caper."

 "But does this mean the diamonds and rubies are safe?"

 He nodded reassuringly. "Just as the handover was done beforehand, so was the exchange. Blake's involvement will prevent the theft from occurring - and from all the parties involved to realize that they were executing the theft of wade-made faux gemstones if they had succeeded. The fallout from that reveal cannot happen - the consequences would be monstrous."

 "So Blake is a pawn in this matter? I doubt he would enjoy his talents being wasted in such a way."

 "Sexton Blake possesses the same deductive powers as myself - it is only his love of adventure that leads him into farragoes that would bruise the dignity of someone with more pride."

 "Like yourself?"

 He smiled. "You have yet to ask what I wrote on that paper I handed to Blake."

 "That's right? What sort of note could you have written without tipping his hand if he opened it before giving chase?"

 "Two words. The name of the company involved in the gemstone exchange, which Mycroft created as a new base for his organization - Universal Exports."


                                            The End

"The Sundry Scribbler - Part 4"

                                              The Adventure of The Sundry Scribbler

                                                                        Part 4

                                                                          By

                                                                Joseph Adorno


 We lay on the crumpled ruins on the ground floor for about an hour, before awakening with a loud and stern "Ahem".

 It was stout elderly woman dressed in a dark overcoat.

 "Mrs. Teague," Sexton Blake observed. "We must apologize for the mess we've m-,"

 "Mess! Mess! Another mess - the last mess! You can clean it all up yourselves!!" She tossed an envelope at him. "I quit - effective immediately!!" She stormed off. Blake reached for the envelope and removed a pince-nez from the pocket of his vest. It was caked with sawdust. He made an attempt to blow off the dust and read her notice.

 "That's unfortunate," he sighed. "She knew how to make Crab Rangoon the way I like it - that's the kind of experience that comes from a cook who travels abroad; she's the wife of a retired sea captain who lives in Jamaica." He began slapping dust off his shirt and pants. "Very well. Tinker, is it time for us to head off?"

 Tinker - that is, Mr. Blyth, though I'm not sure why he would let himself be regarded with a child's nickname - was in a daze, eventually settling his gaze at the ruins of a badly-beaten grandfather clock, its hands pointing at 6 and 2.

 "We do, sir. The gala is about to begin in an hour."

 "Excellent. We'll make a quick change of clothes at one of my spider-holes and then head off."

 Holmes coughed a cloud of dust. "Gala? Am I to believe that you are the 'expert' hired by the Rajah's court to manage security for the handover with the Sultan this evening?"

 Blake grinned. "That is correct. I initially took the job regardless of its social standing, but my interest has been piqued by the rumored involvement of my brothers, Henry and Nigel."

 "The Blakes," I gasped. "What a vile and ghastly pair!" I bit my lip when I realized who I was keeping company with.

 "It's alright, Doctor," assured Blake. "I'm sorry to say that I'm the ... black sheep of the family. But I also detected rumors that they're in league with Wu Ling and George Plummer of Scotland Yard."

 Holmes raised an eyebrow at the mention of that last name. Plummer is a Detective Sergeant - as corrupt as Inspector Lestrade was not, they had never crossed paths before (and it was possible that Plummer arranged to avoid doing so), but Holmes often wondered when the day would come when he would have to actually work with such a monster.

 He asked Blake a question. "You believe that this teaming of villains involves the trade of the Rajah's diamond mine for the Sultan's ruby mine?"

 "Yes. The Rajah of Pookajee holds a floating court - his ruby mines are exhausted, but his diamond mine is plentiful. The reverse is true for the Sultan of Lugash. The tradeoff has already been made, but the formal ceremony will involve the handover of 300 million pounds each in rubies and diamonds."

 Holmes paused. "The location of this handover gala was not advertised in great detail."

 Blake nodded. "Only 'in London'."

 "Yet, the danger of Plummer's rumored involvement infers that the underworld is well aware."

 "Unfortunately, the location chosen would have informed the underworld regardless."

 "A well-respected, luxury hotel in a neighborhood of ill refute."

 "Precisely."

 "The Jade Lotus."

 "You are the Master."

 "In Limehouse."

 "You are cordially invited to join us. As you once said, 'the game is afoot'."


To be continued...

"The Adventure of The Sundry Scribbler", Part 1

If Sherlock Holmes was a real person, he would have celebrated his birthday on January 6th. Fans ("Sherlockians" or "Holmesians", whichever you prefer) claim he was born in 1854. This year, he is 159 years old.

There is an easy way to celebrate (I just did that) and an interesting way...


                                   The Adventure of The Sundry Scribbler
                                                     By Joseph Adorno
                                                             Part One

 It was another gray day in London. Sherlock Holmes decided to spend the afternoon refilling the Persian slipper he hung by the fireplace with a supply of fresh tobacco...and looking over my shoulder, to my irritation.

 "Actually, Watson, these are very good. You needn't bother with crafting a draft and just let the editor have it." He held up my notebook and pointed to a page. "Make sure Doyle does not change a single word."

 "Holmes, I will warn you that any talk will permit me to bring up your own efforts as well, like that business with the soldier with leprosy. Or when you let Mycroft write up that attempt on your life by Count Silvius."

 "Ah, touche! Forgive me, John, but are you really surprised? It's nothing I haven't remarked before."

 Holmes had taken a liking to reading my notes on his cases and ignoring the published accounts altogether. It is no secret that he complained, over and over, that my approach veered toward the melodramatic and tacky. My notes offer no narrative - in the very least, I take some consolation in the fact that he has not ordered me to cease and desist my efforts.

 "Holmes, you're showering me with praise on work equal to the daily toil of schoolchildren!"

 He laughed. "Come now, Watson, if I were truly patronizing, I would have suggested that I had compared your work to a sampling from one of the irregulars! No, I do find an art to these scribblings. For example, this page I've highlighted marks an item of interest sandwiched hours later between two facts established hours earlier. This deduction is erroneous, but the thought process is very revealing and entertaining."

 "I was simply recalling how the broken mousetrap was found in Mr. Pall's study and that was Inspector Jones' summation, not mine."

"Well, Jones' summation was sandwiched between the factual observance that Weston Pall lived at his manor house in squalor, surrounded by stacks of books and penny dreadfuls piled on top of furniture. The deduction has intimations that the mousetrap will reveal the true solution to Pall's disappearance, but we know that was not true."

 "Of course! We're only a third of the way into the problem! The audience needs to be entertained while they wait for you to show your hand."

 "You're setting it up as a miraculous leap in the dark, when it was all fairly commonplace. Just because my caseload has become repetitive doesn't mean you have a right to bait them that way. I'm going to ask Mr. Blyth to consider a crack at the Pall disappearance and compare the results with yours."

 "Who is this 'Blyth'?" I asked.

 He smiled again. "Mr. Harry Blyth. He's our new neighbor - 221A. He claims to be a writer, like yourself, but whereas writing is your avocation, it is his vocation, full-time. I suppose...you wish to meet him?"

 "Of course!"

To Be Continued...

In The Spirit For An Xmas Wedding

I had to jump out of the passenger side of Nick's car and land feet first in front of the courthouse steps as it hovered near a fire hydrant.

"Thanks for the lift. Central isn't exactly across the street from the carrier."

He laughed and gave me a thumbs up. "No problem. I'm sure Eb would've gotten you here even quicker - Duggan tells me that cab has booster rockets! And tell Colt the job is still open if he wants it!" He shut the door and took off as I rushed in.

***

The Groom was staring into a mirror in the Commissioner's office, adjusting his mask. I knocked on the door. He saw me through the mirror's reflection.

"The door's open!"

"Hi Denny. You're not wearing your black suit?"

"I don't wear a black suit."

"Right, right. So anyway, I'm glad I made it here in time to be the best man and all, filling in for Eb and such. Where's Sam and Blub?"

His mask secure, he began readjusting his tie. He must have been nervous. "Sam's on a new case with Tracy's kid, Junior - and he talked Eb into coming along...a trio of investigators...sheesh. And Blub is with the Curry's in Alaska, fighting winter zombies. By the way, Eb left his cab behind to serve as our chariot - you'll have to drive it, so that's three jobs I've got for you."

"Three?"

"Yeah - Dolan's doing the ceremony after we caught Mr. Carrion posing as Judge Kitchen. You'll need to give away the bride."

"Busy day?"

He smiled. "Eh..it's looking up. It looked like the bride would be late, but it turned out she found where we left the gown on her own and sent the message to Dolan through one of the bailiffs." Finished, he took one last look at himself. "..and something blue."

***

I couldn't see the bride under the heavy veil, but the gown was beautiful. It also had a very long train that I almost tripped over when I walked around from behind to take her hand.

The organist began to play the wedding march. As we slowly walked up the room, I took stock of how they decorated the area with loads of Christmas and Wedding-themed decor: pink bouquets, a white cake, a Christmas tree, a table full of gifts (I'm glad I remembered to bring something, although most of the gift boxes were the same size as what I had brought with me - a dreadful thought popped into my head)... Dolan stood at the center, with Denny to his left. I wonder what Dolan was going to say? Or did the Bride and Groom have vows prepared?

There were even two of Santa's helpers - though they looked kind of seedy: the first one was acting as an usher and didn't even fill out his suit; the second was slumped in a chair at a far corner with his gloved hands wrapped around a bottle of rot gut on his lap. He was out for the day.

I also took notice of the crowds in attendance: Family, friends and acquaintances of the Dolan family appeared on the Bride's side...the Groom's side was made up entirely of cops and crooks - the crooks in handcuffs, of course. Among that lot I recognized Satin, Wang, Boil, Cossack, Hussein, Lox, Carrion, Paris, Julia, Sand, P'Gell ... I think someones missing..

And then I almost tripped again! "I've got you," the Bride whispered. She did have a very good grip.

"Yeah, thanks," I whispered back.

And then she kept on whispering. She was talking to herself. "I've got you this time, Gainsborough, in front of everyone, now. There'll be no more cat-and-mouse games from here on."

Her grip was getting tighter, that's when I looked at her hand and notice the gloves she was wearing. They were purple with stripes on the back...purple, purple, purple...

***

It turned out this was going to be a very short ceremony. Neither side had anything to say and Dolan seemed keener on re-lighting his pipe.

"I left my matchbook in my desk, so if the Groom wouldn't mind putting the ring on her and getting on with it, so I can consider you kids married already.."

"Sure, sure, of course." Denny nervously nodded. His hands were shaking fierce as he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket ... and then became eerily clam as he smiled while he revealed a pair of handcuffs and slapped them on the wrists of his bride!

"Sorry, dear, but I'm afraid I've got cold feet to go with your cold hands." He lifted the veil. The face was familiar: white and blue complexion, with matching blue hair and makeup. Actually, there are three or four nasty women fitting that description, so I waited for Denny to say it. This event was cooling up.

"Louise Lincoln, it's been a pleasure." He reached inside his jacket again. "I believe you were looking for these?" He held up a set of gold wedding bands that revealed inscriptions that glowed and became legible when held up to the light. "The Tibetan Yeti Bands - believed to grant unknown power to the bearer of the ring, if I recall the legend correctly. I just thought they'd make good bait when I had this event advertised in the papers."

"What did she do to Ellen?" I asked.

Dolan laughed. "Who? Seriously, this event was advertised as the wedding of Thomas Gainsborough, here. There was no mention of the bride's name."

The purple gloves on Louise's hand began to change. First they began turning into a paler shade, then they formed a heavy coat of frost before crystallizing and shattering, exposing Lousie's free hands. Her handcuffs become useless when she froze them, breaking them off as well. She then froze Denny, Dolan and myself  and grabbed the bands off Denny's palm with ease. All we could do was watch.

"Just because the wedding's off doesn't mean the bride is obligated to give back the rings, Gainsborough! Watch this bride run away!" She turned and began to make her exit. All the crooks seated in the groom's aisle were cheering her, but didn't dare cross her path.

That's when Santa stepped in. "Where's your Christmas spirit? Is that why you're so blue?" He then grabbed the train of her gown and began to spin like a top, forming a tornado that reeled her in. She began using her powers to fight back, but the end result backfired.

Santa took off his suit and revealed another red suit, one with a familiar lightning bolt symbol stamped across his chest.

"Just when I thought I was going to have to pull one of my old tricks and dash for a present, Louise shows up to help me make a gift: an ice sculpture!"

He raced forward and used his powers to thaw out the three of us - generating heat by offering the ultimate pat-down. It would've been very awkward if it lasted longer than 2.5 seconds.

Denny thanked him by admiring his handiwork with Louise - currently serving as a wedding gown tornado preserved in her own ice. "What a pity we'll have to arrest this one and put it in the fridge right away. You do good work, Wally."

"Thanks. I love spending the holidays back home in Central. By the way, those gloves she was wearing..."

I jumped in. "I can answer that one. Those gloves are a big deal this year. I brought a set for you as a gag. And I noticed that drunk Santa wore a pair as well."

Denny's eyes widened. "Santa?" He turned to the corner. There was only an empty chair where the fat man once sat.

Denny looked a bit forlorn. "I missed him...Santa was here...and I missed him."

Wally tried to cheer him up. "Y'know, it might not be who you think it is...I mean, Bats' wore purple gloves, too."


The End

Why Moore Serious?

Commitment is something I like to see in a comic book fan...actually, that's what the publisher would like to see. And the shops. 

If you have $120.00 saved for this summer, then that means you're planning to buy all 35 issues of Before Watchmen. Does it really matter that Moore had nothing to do with this one? We're all used to reading comics featuring characters written and drawn by writers and artists who are not the original creators. The same goes for cartoons, too. It's argued that Tex Avery and Bob McKimson created Bugs Bunny (the definitive version of the cartoon rabbit that had been floating in Warner Brothers cartoons under the same name) and they've been dead for decades. Should we have stopped reading Batman comics after Bill Finger got fired? Should we have quit reading Spawn when Todd MacFarlane stopped writing and drawing every issue? If we did take that hard line,we'd only accomplish saving money to buy other stuff. Why be Moore serious?

We have a way out - we don't need to feel like we're getting caught, we don't need to wear that long overcoat with the collar turned-up. When the sales numbers come in - actually, they're already in - they'll just show copies ordered by the stores. We're not in the middle, the shops are! We're just reading what we like! If we don't like Watchmen, we wouldn't be reading it, would we? We wouldn't pick Before Watchmen up thinking it will turn gold, now, right? Besides, this is no different from when soap operas would dust off old characters. When All My Children brought Angie and Jessie back from limbo in 2008, nobody complained much, even though it's audience had to be aware that this was an obvious sign none of the characters created in the two decades since those two left were clicking. Did it work? All My Children has been cancelled and has stayed that way since last year.

It won't work. Not because Alan Moore has gone on the record in interviews saying that this is a sign of total creative bankruptcy, or that the "talent" involved is not talented, otherwise they could have done something original and not a prequel to someone Else's story. Watchmen is all about telling a story. I did not get a hankering for a sequel about the Minutemen, because Alan had deconstructed them too well to offer anything more. Ditto the rest of the characters - what's Nite-Owl like in his prime? Ted Kord (Blue Beetle)? Daredevil? Batman? Is Dr. Manhattan more interesting than the Silver Surfer or Captain Atom? How about Rorschach and The Question? Or Silk Spectre and Nightshade or Black Canary or Huntress or The Wasp? It might be interesting to see what an Ozymandias comic would be like, but we've already seen what Alan Moore could do with him... This comic was all about a particular story and it accomplished more than it was meant to already. And I didn't care to read it a second time.

But that's not why it won't be a hit. Look at the teams involved. Two of the books involve artists not known for being fast. Two of the books are written by an egomaniac/windbag. Two of the books are written by someone who is better at one job than another. Two of the books are written by a journeyman. It's a very motley crew. If anyone's saving money on this, it's because only the first issues will have arrived on time.
We're in the middle, aren't we? No, I'd argue we're in the space between the middle. We're interdimensional. The whole thing could be a hit or a bomb and because these are planned well in advance, there's another event planned in the horizon that will get our attention. How did we get here? The past is a different country, they did things differently there... And when mistakes are made, they're in the past. The present is always a new country. And I don't miss All My Children or One Life To Live. Will we miss superhero comics?

The New Traveller's Alamnac: No $#!+ Sherlock Edition for the Sher-Locked

Gentlemen:


Produced herewith is a supplement to our well-received compendium, this time with the focus centered on the exploits of a famous and celebrated British consulting detective, which happened concurrently with the farragoes of the illustrious team in service to Her Majesty's defense, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, formerly known as "Prospero's Men". We are reproducing notes made by one of our lower-ranking agents disguised as an employee of a respectable bank in England, who, with considerable risk, opened a safety deposit box belonging to Dr. John Watson and examined the contents.  "J"'s notes are highlighted where appropriate:

Pre-1898: It appears the great detective was known to have encountered one member of Ms. Murray's League prior to 1898...

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Holmes by Loren D. Estleman

1898 M or M ?: The year in which Ms. Murray's League assembled was a busy one...

The Peerless Peer by Philip Jose Farmer - It is not known if Lord Greystoke ever joined an American counterpart to the League, or if one existed prior to 1939, though Mr. Farmer hints that the services of  a Mr. Spider, Mr. Savage , Det. Tracy,  Ms. Drew, Mr. Colt, Mr. Carter, Ms. Pinkerton and Mr. Cranston were likely enlisted within the 39 year range.

Seance For A Vampire by Fred Saberhagen - Perhaps Mr. Holmes was reluctant to meet with his cousin's unrequited love interest. It would explain a lot...the sanguinary Count appears to have made no effort at a reunion, perhaps due to embarrassment...

The Seven Per Cent Solution by Nicholas Meyer - This is an amusing attempt by Dr. Watson to try and appease Colonel Moriarty's libel suit by bringing the Great Detective's drug addiction to light and improve Professor Moriarty's tarnished public image...*

The Canary Trainer by Nicholas Meyer - Holmes himself narrates this tale of his adventure during "The Great Hiatus" when everyone thought he was dead. He wasn't lonely - Miss Irene Adler and a known "Phantom" were present...*

The Star of India by Carole Bugge - This faintly comic escapade occurred shortly after Holmes' return to the land of the living and features Dr. Watson's first meeting with our head of Military Intelligence, mere days before he befell his tragic fate in Limehouse.*

Late 1898: Martian Invasion of Earth

The War of The Worlds by Manley W. Wellman & Wade Wellman - Holmes was accompanied by Professor Challenger in this adventure, a useful account of events in London while Ms. Murray was with Mr. Quartermain in the country.

The Giant Rat of Sumatra by Richard L. Boyer - It would seem Mr. Holmes has had his own brushes with weirdness...*

Jack The Ripper:

A Study In Terror by Ellery Queen - A savvy account  of Holmes investigation by an American rival...*

The Last Sherlock Holmes Story by Michael Dibdin - well, it has been said that Holmes seemed different after his "resurrection". This may have been Watson's early effort at damage control after a severe drug relapse. Holmes' often-described lament at Moriarty's passing has dangerous consequences...*

The West End Horror by Nicolas Meyer - Holmes is back in fine form solving what appears to be a copycat crime and even encounters his cousin's biographer, Bram Stoker.*

1904-1915 None of Your Beeswax: We are now coming to the strangest period of the Great Detective's life - his sudden and unexpected retirement and desire to become a keeper of bees.

The Breath of God by Guy Adams - Ms. Murray's encounter with Oliver Haddo in 1910 is well-chronicled, but it would appear that Holmes and Watson had their own encounter with the man, as well as teaming up with Thomas Carnaki, of Ms. Murray's second League. Watson may have thought the events were too recherche for the public and changed the names of the persons involved. Mr. Haddo is split into two aliases -identified as "Alistair Crowley" and"Karswell Trelawney", here. * 

"The Adventure of Hillerman Hall/aka, How A Hermit Was Disturbed In His Retirement" by Julian Symons - A young woman from the village of St. Mary Mead approached Holmes begging for his help in a private matter. Mr. Holmes did not catch "Jane"'s  full name, but it may have been "Marble" or "Maple"...*

The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King - beginning in 1915, Mr. Holmes life was forever changed by the entrance of Miss Mary Russell, a young American woman who begins her long association with him first as an apprentice, then as his wife. It is through Miss Russell's accounts that we also learn of Sherlock's 2nd child with Irene Adler, Damian, an artist who signs his work, "The Addler".*

The Royal Jelly Factor: Evidence exists hinting that Holmes may still be alive...

The Golden Spiders by Rex Stout - A representative sample of an account of Holmes 1st-born with Irene Adler, Auguste Dupa, who underwent a name change and enjoyed a successful, if not particularly exciting career as a private detective.*

The Pirate King by Laurie R. King - Holmes flirts with a second avocation by making his screen debut opposite his wife with a small part in a silent film...*

A Three Pipe Problem by Julian Symons - ...and here we learn of his stage name, Sheridan Hayes...

Sherlock - Presumably tired of acting, a younger actor assumes the role in reenactments of his recent caseload, which involves working in tandem with descendants of his brother Mycroft and of John Watson. The Moriarty and Adler family trees extend well into the 21st century and have been documented elsewhere...*

Elementary! - chronicling his experiences in the colonies in the present-day, alongside Dr. Watson's Chinese great-granddaughter. 

Sherlock Holmes in The 22nd Century - there is some speculation that a descendant of Inspector Lestrade transmitted messages via unconfirmed technology to Mycroft Holmes in 1898, assuring him that a confidential cloning/cryogenic longevity experiment has been a complete success...*

Thus completes our supplementary companion. We hope it clears everything up.


*Note: all items marked with an "*" are an attempt by the lickspittle "J" to indicate he is familiar with the facts pertained within. He has been deported back to the colonies with great haste.

The Fever is Coming Back...

 Every fan gets it - certainly a true comic book fan. I'm not talking about those two-arm,two-leg, "I'll-just-buy-one-issue-or-two-and-that's-my-collection" phonies or the "Oh,-these-comics-are-not-in-good-condition.-The-price-is-good-and-the-books-are-hard-to-find,-but-I'll-pass" and "This-shop-is-just-too-out-of-my-way-for-me-to-come-in-every-week" or "This-shopkeeper-is-racist!-I'm-never-coming-back!" pretenders. Feh!

  Comic books are like potato chips or gummy bears - you can never have just one. There's a reason why a serving of gummies is 15 bears. On the other hand, you can eat just one bon-bon - especially if it's that bitter, gooey, dark chocolate/caramel hybrid that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Have you ever seen anyone eat two of those back-to-back? Outrageous!

 Remember the days of "self-contained" stories? If not, you're young (and I didn't know young people bought comics - I just assumed you waited for your Mother to force Dad to get rid of his collection or wait for Gramps to kick the bucket. This is strictly an adult hobby - did you not see all the old people walking around the shop?). A self-contained comic was simply a story that was complete in one issue - you need not fear finding out if Batman succumbs to bumping off the Joker in part 2, because there was no part 2. Of course, nowadays we would buy part 2 to see if he does kill the clown, knowing that if he did, we'd be up to our armpits in ninja gangster stories - this will never happen...oh, wait, they do that anyway. Today, a self-contained issue is a "launching point" or a "key issue" for a new storyline - a point-of-entry for "new" readers who want to know where they can hop abroad the moving train. These issues tend to be a bit threadbare in plot and story - usually a thrown-together mash-up of stock activity (Batman taking down gang members, Captain America riding his motorcycle and throwing his shield, The X-Men having a picnic or playing baseball, Savage Dragon getting a recap of what went on before while he was out, Spider-Man chasing car thieves) and then two-three pages of set-up for a new storyline (never a story-just a storyline) where some sign of dread appears - maybe a character watching from the shadows or some poor fool getting killed. "Not the end...check next month's issue and read this Wednesday's Comics and Stories #508 for another angle and read Death Scooter #267 to see Wendell check out the action alone!"

 But wait a minute - if you're a lowest common denominator, hardcore comic book fan, you're not going to sit and wait for four weeks for the story to continue, you'll want to check out what happened last month and the month before that (in the case of Transformers comics, you'll be checking on the last two publishers that had the character license). That means you're at the mercy of the back issue aisle - a wretched hive of scum and villainy if there never was one. Here, you can expect to be charged a tax on used, dog-eared periodicals, or - even sneakier - a tax on last month's issue, which may not have been bagged or boarded, but left sitting next to the current issue on the stacks. Here, you can thumb through a stack of old books and wish for hand sanitizer after gazing at your fingertips caked with dirt. Here, you can stare at dead bugs trapped in Mylar. Here, you can sweat through your clothes like a pizza slice in a paper bag when you realize the shopkeeper shut off the air conditioner so that you'd run out of there. Ha! As if that will work!

 Wait a minute...those tricks do work. They do make anyone with half a brain turn around and say "Never again..." They do lose new customers and new readers who developed a genuine interest in comics but can only go as far as waiting for the next issue and ignore the recent past. Who can wait for next issue when it takes over a year for a storyline to resolve itself and the price of a new issue keeps going up beyond casual spending. The fever goes away...

 The fever never leaves the die hards, though, especially the ones with Debit and Credit in hand. Yes, yes, even in the days of Cap'n Credit Crunch and Fannie Big Mac/whatever, you'll still see people spend $30/$40 dollars a week on comics. These die-hards won't pause when the total rings up an additional 8.25/god knows what % sales tax that makes no sense (even less sense when the clerk explains that it's because "It's an old comic" - wtf ?).

 That is why a "jumping-on point" comic is not just a beginning - it's an ending. Yes, the first dose might even be "Free" (right, Free Comic Book Day?), but the next dose is always hardest to take. Once you've got the fever, the prescription is a trip out of the store, or a four-color cocktail of last month's, last year's, next month's, or tie-in issues. Down the hatch. Never say "when". Oh, and never think about whether the stuff is any good - generic comics are never a steal. Yes, some places do tax issues from the quarter/half-dollar bins.


Happy Wednesday.

...The Right Of All Sentient Knuckleheads - Bwah-Ha-Ha

IDW's Transformers comics are shaking up this month. What started off as a simple reboot of the franchise and its comic book continuity became swept-up and overshadowed by the success of the live-action movies and arguably went off the rails for a while. So now we're getting a new jumping-on point that is not so much a revamp as just something exciting and new.

This month we have two new ongoing series - Robots In Disguise and More Than Meets The Eye. The new status quo? The ongoing feud between the Autobots and Decepticons is considered over, and in a goodwill gesture to show that Cybertron has moved on, the leadership is divided between Rodimus Prime and Bumblebee, who are not getting along right now. Both agree that that they need to get their home planet in order, but disagree in how to do it. 'Bee thinks it needs to be done from the ground up, Rodimus thinks something old will help - in this case, a quest for the Knights of Cybertron - a Jedi/Templar-sounding order of robots that went into hiding long,long ago.

So they split, and the two books show the change well. In More Than Meets The Eye,  Rodimus fronts a book that's very Justice League International meets Lost in Space/ Star Trek: Voyager with more humor than you'd expect - no, not terrible Shia Labeouf comedy, but the cause-and-effect, dialogue-fueled, "Bwa-ha-ha" that defined the Keith Giffen and J.M. Dematteis years writing the Justice league, and I found this approach very engaging. Robots In Disguise appears to offer a more conventional alternative, but I expect it will be good, since Bumblebee stars in it.

Casting Transformers in comics is very important. In past years, the comics would focus on characters with a cult following, like Jetfire, Grimlock and Ratchet (who didn't do much in the original cartoon, but strangely enough, became the real hero in the original Marvel comic books, even considered by fans to be Megatron's true arch-foe). Here, with Rodimus and Bumblebee, the books are centered on characters that played major roles in Transformers movies, and I'm certain that was a key strategy  to bring in new readers. I saw one guy in the comic shop pick up a copy that prominently displayed Rodimus on the cover, while I opted for Nick Roche's awesome cover tribute to Kevin Maguire's Justice League #1 cover, with Rodimus standing in for Guy Gardner. Variant covers cover all bases - not all the time, but here they did.

I tend to drift in and out of Transformers because the continuity can get ugly and self-indulgent. The old Marvel comics veer away from the TV show at one point, the Marvel U.K. comics used a time travel story set between scenes in the animated movie, Target 2006, which created an alternate continuity. Bumblebee survived in the TV series, but was killed off in any crossover with G.I. Joe. Characters like Shockwave, Ratbat, Nightbeat, Blaster, Ratchet and Grimlock were given the lion's share of attention, yet barely registered on TV.

The timing couldn't be better - The Hub channel started airing episodes from season 3 of the original Transformers series - which featured  Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Galvatron , Wreck-Garr,  Dalek-wannabes the Quintessons and Ben Grimm-analogue Kup, so anyone watching and visiting a comic shop spotting a comic book showcasing those characters will want to try it. That season is not very popular, but technically, the scripts, dialogue and characterization are stronger than what came before. I like how it played off events from the animated film, which was something of an event to any kid who saw it in 1986. I remember I had to choose between seeing that movie or the final re-release of  Disney's Song of The South. But Song of The South had already started, and the Transformers movie was still playing into the afternoon and evening, simply because somebody ingeniously thought of having Spike Witwicky say, "Oh, Shit, what are we going to do now?!" in the middle of the picture. Well, if the parents weren't taking them out and demanding refunds when the Autobots were getting killed left and right in the 1st ten minutes... It all sounds so tame, now.

What about Bayformers? The popular nickname for the live-action films? Well, maybe it says something about my worldview, but I can't help but find Bay's ugly depiction of the humans to be more convincing than anyone would care to admit. In Bayformers our fates are often in the hands of overzealous, uneducated, interchangeable and hammy people in suits and uniforms who thrive on red tape and puffed-up men and women overcompensating for their lack of logic or personality by clinging on to growling hoary stereotypes. The giant robots have more personality, but Bay (or perhaps, Steven Spielberg) is skittish about giving them more screen time. I guess a Beast Wars movie is unthinkable, here. Ditto an adaptation of the great comic I just reviewed.

I can't help imagine what a Doctor Who/Transformers crossover would be like. Of course it would star David Tennant. Maybe Tom Baker would cameo, offering Galvatron jelly babies. And K9 would blast away Decepticons while UNIT and Torchwood would tell Sector 7 the business and show them how its done right. And the sonic screwdriver would convert an industrial fan into an inter-dimensional Hoover vac that would suck all the baddies into a pocket nowhere place and let the Daleks and Cybermen finish them off.  And Megan Fox could lay down on the hood of an Aston Martin DB9 and pose all sexy-like, just in case this was starting to look like kids stuff... This might already be on YouTube... Babelcolour's The Ten Doctors uses the soundtrack from the films better than Bay did. I'll check again...

A Comic Book Rehab Carol - Part 5

I felt something slithering across my feet - his cape! It had grown so long that it had flooded the floor like a red carpet - the corners of it crawled up and tied me up and lifted me off the floor and held me in the air, making direct eye contact with its host.

"Now, you will see what it feels like to be trapped in a world you never made!"

"Al?...go right ahead, but have you ever wondered why you never tried it before, or why you would need me to do it?"

He seemed to tilt his head just a bit, as if to pause and reflect on that question...it was hard to tell with that expressionless face what a brown study should look like.

"I don't have much time," he admitted, and held out his hand. An unusual rectangular object appeared out of thin air above his palm. It was his power chronometer - the eternal countdown/gauge that measured how much power he had spent, how much was left, and how much time he had left. It was unreadable to all but him. "There's so much I have not accomplished...so many things I should have done in the time I had and wasted...just wasted...marking time.

"I discovered a way to change my fate - by trading universes,  I won't have to endure this shallow status quo. I will change."

"It won't work. Your plan is built on a false premise. You think you're all out of time, but that's what you've been made to think, so that you think you can't go anywhere because of this pathetic weakness, and as a result of this, you've ALL become Brand ecch."

"No!"

His cape released me, and I landed on my feet. "No, it's true. You're blaming the faithful readership, chasing after a phantom demographic all these years - one that does not respect you. This plan of yours won't work because your energy does not exist in our world - your stuff is always the stuff of dreams - constructs of someone else's imagination - we think, therefore, you are."

"I'm doomed." His cape seemed to shrink back to a more standard size, his glowing green eyes dimmed, his body began to hide within the folds of the red cloak.

"No, you're not. You'll be fine, I'll be fine. But you know what you have to do. You and all the other spirits go back to where you belong and start the change from there. Change happens from within. AND I'M GIVING YOU JUST 10 SECONDS! SO, COME ON! CHANGE!!"

The whole room went fuzzy... I started to black out...

To be concluded...

A Comic Book Rehab Carol - Part 4

I wasn't aware of the fact that I did not arrive back home - I was paying more attention to the large man with his back turned. The white tunic, light blue cape and large, turnip-shaped head made him all too easy to identify.

There is a time for action and a time for reaction. A time to object and a time to interject. For this creature, it is never one of those times. He never interferes. He simply and only watches.

So they say...

We were standing in what appeared to be a massive control room of sorts, with a clear high-domed ceiling that offered an uncharacteristically busy view of outer space. we were on the Moon. He was preoccupied with a massive wall of monitor screens - each appearing to offer distinctive images he requested.

He was a cosmic couch potato without a couch.

"Are you...the ghost of Christmas future?," I asked.

He turned to face me. his eyes were pools of glowing, firey amber. He turned to face the screens and pointed at a group of images with a lone finger...images...of me...

There was I, a decade older, drunk bidding a small fortune on an Adam West bust - the fourth in my collection...

(  http://adamwestbust.com/  )  ;P

There I was, 11 years older, picking up a package from the post office - 50 issues of Jughead featuring Trula Twyst...

Was I there? - 12 years older, paying 200 dollars for Mark Hamill's autograph for a photo of him from ...Corvette Summer ?

There - 13 years older, selecting the 4th, not the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd copy of a new issue offered on the shelf at a comic shop.

Was That me? - 20 years older, watching someone select the 5th copy of a comic offered on the shelf, then walking over and resetting that stack...why am I bothering to do that?

I...think I'm working in a comic shop...

I...think I'm in charge of a store I own...a dead comic shop...

I...

"I...,"

" Yes, you, " the spirit spoke. He began to change. Transforming...becoming leaner, meaner, darker. The demure blue, yet quietly confident cape grew outward and expanded into bloody crimson red. The turnip-shaped head shrank into a narrow oval and the eyes outsized it - those firey amber pupil-less corneas glowing a bubbling, steamy green. Spiky studded chains and collars tore through the modest tunic - the long chains landing on the floor with a resounding clang that could wake the dead.

He became a darker shadow of his former self, literally and figuratively. If the former made a crow's nest among the stars, the latter was more likely to find a comfortable vantage point in a shadowy corner of a dank dead end nowhere - an alley, perhaps?

"You're the first spirit I've encountered with an identity crisis : a marvelous two-in-one. The 1st spirit wanted to stay relevant, the 2nd was an armchair spectator of the past, the 3rd wanted depth and recognition in the present day. What do you want?"

His voice was a low smouldering roar, his posture that of a sleeping giant finally awake. "I want to use my powers. I'm going to save my universe by destroying yours."

To be continued...

September Scrimmage - DC's Previews - Comic Book Rehab :Special issue #0

Last month, comic book stores gave away (well, I'm assuming YOUR STORE gave it away) free copies of a preview of the September relaunch, which is spining out of this summer's Crossover, FLASHPOINT. One thing I can tell you, the price point is still 3 bucks for most of the books. I'll come up with other usefull observations...

They look alike/they talk alike? - The solicitation form the new comic RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS hints that Red Hood (Jason Todd) is starting to act a lot like Grifter from the Wildcats.

Green Arrow - everyone's favorite writer, J.T. Krul is back with a new take on Oliver Queen. The murky "Watcher in the woods" angle is gone, replaced with a "World's Policeman" angle. And trick arrows. And Dan Jurgens on art, but a nice cover by Brett Booth. I hate when we have no clue what's inside but get nice art on the outside. It's like Boom!'s Ducktales comics - the covers by Leonel Castellini are fantastic, but they do not reflect what's happening inside - that's like false advertising. The inside is kind of like what a Gold Key Ducktales comic would've looked like if that company had survived.

Justice League - 2 books, one attempting a comeback with the late 80's-era league - sans Ted Kord, & BIG sucka', with Jim Lee art, that seems to be carrying this leaked-out angle that a big reset button has been pressed and, ... well, these are the only kinds of stories anyone knows how to tell anymore - origins, deaths, rebirths, weddings, funerals, godlike a-holes who shout dull speeches, zombies, and obnoxius awkward teenagers, which reminds me...

They're trying again with Blue Beetle - poor Jaimie. They try and try and puch and push and the only fans you've got are that little old spanish lady who (according to an anecdote by the character's creators) thought it was wonderful to have a latino superhero for kids to look up to. See, Jaime's got groupies - little old spanish ladies who'll buy his comic for their kids...who'll wonder why they didn't get Batman or Spider-Man comics, instead. Oh, and fans of Nova, the human rocket, who I'm convinced is the template for this incarnation of Blue Beetle - they'll be picking up the book too, just for the sake of remembering how 'cool' Nova was and maybe if they buy this, then Marvel will try a reviving Nova again. Yeah,yeah, that's the ticket.

Oh, and Superman. They've been wanting to erase his marriage to Lois Lane for years and years, and now they've got it, but that was the most distinctive element of the comics - you don't see a married Lois and Clark potrayed anywhere else in the media for any long period of time, so the comic will REALLY have to entertain us with a status quo that goes beyond dodging bullets and hoping over traffic.

Oh, and that guy with the bat ears. Batman gets to be just Bruce Wayne, again. Batgirl gets to be Barbara Gordon again. Damien gets to still be Robin. No clue on whether the book will go back to rehashing old "NYPD Blue" or disaster movie scripts like in the past. At least Converse like Batman's blue costume.

Oh, and there's a bunch of other books I didn't get to because there's too many that look like cannon fodder at the moment. I'll approach them when they appear on the shelves.

Take care - behave yourselves.

Joe.

Amazing Comic Book Rehab!

I'm Joseph Adorno. This is the commentary to my Comic Book Rehab Twitter page. If you have not seen my Twitter page yet, I reccomend you jump over to http://www.twitter.com/comicbookrehab and have a look. I'll be using this blog to explain myself often. If you're like me and jump to the commentary anyway, well, I'll be back with lots of posts shortly. Keep checking on me!