"Doctor Who: The Glamour Chronicles" - "Royal Blood" by Una McCormack, "Deep Time" by Trevor Baxendale and "Big Bang Generation" by Gary Russell (A Review)

Three Doctor Who novels, three treasure hunts - one big quest. The Glamour Chronicles sounds reminiscent of The Key to Time serials from the Tom Baker era of Who, in which a series of adventures is loosely connected by a hunt for pieces of a large artifact, culminating in a showdown with the enemy. That's not quite what we get here...

What is the Glamour? It's a maguffin, that's for sure - the plot element that motivates a character to go from here to there, as Alfred Hitchcock would establish in a lot of his cat-and-mouse thrillers, but even if the answer wasn't entirely interesting, we knew what it was: Roger Thornhill was mistaken for a guy named "Kaplan", Richard Hannay was trying to find out what "The 39 Steps" are, etc..but it feels like we got 3 different answers to what the Glamour is. In Royal Blood, it's a shapeshifting sentient being. In Deep Time, it's a parasite/honeypot trap linked to an ancient race of "elder gods". In Big Bang Generation, it's a lodestone, a key that sets off a doomsday machine...I think (that one is a little muddy to me). It's implied the 3 books follow in that sequence via various remarks said in each book, but either of the last two have conclusions that could easily wrap it up, so this double solution (an Ellery Queen shoutout in Doctor Who - remarkable!) allows you to choose to read no further..ultimately, the Glamour isn't as interesting a prize as the situations wrapped around it. Regardless, the sales receipt revealed the numbering, so that was handy.

Royal Blood is the Doctor Who fairy tale story. Think The Curse of Peladon, The Androids of Tara, The Keeper of Traken, Robot of Sherwood, even Day of The Doctor, with Queen Elizabeth and the Zygons. Two warring kingdoms, the Doctor and Clara in the middle, then Sir Lancelot shows up, plus we get a "magic" amulet. It's all good stuff, plus McCormack employs a mixed-narrative with jumps from 2nd to 3rd person perspective, so we get to care about who these characters are that the Tardis team befriended. One problem: the Doctor has no scenes with Lancelot! I didn't get that at all...maybe the dialogues would've sounded too reminiscent of Twelve's with Robin Hood in Sherwood, particularly since he has the same skepticism about the Arthurian legend that he had with the green archer. Clara gets a lot of nice moments, here, although that might add fuel to the vitriol from fans who loathed the character and joked about changing the title to Clara Who. Grade : B+

Deep Time is the most suspenseful of the three volumes. The Doctor and Clara are last-minute passengers on a spaceship with a crew on a archaeological expedition that goes sour when the ship crashes on a planet that's evolving through time in increments, with the whole team along for the ride (reminds me of the planet from Star Trek III). There's frozen tundras, deadly plants, poisonous bugs, catacombs, haunted spacecraft, ghosts, the Tardis in peril and - the fans always eat this up - Time Lord mythology. Also, Twelve tries making coffee from recycled waste material. It's a good Doctor Who sci-fi/horror tale. Grade: A

Big Bang Generation, in theory, seems like an easy sell. It's got a reunion with one of the Doctor's old companions from the Doctor Who novels of the 1990s and audio plays by Big Finish Productions - Bernice Summerfield, who was one of the conceptual prototypes for River Song (the other being 'Time Lady' Iris Wildthyme). The problem is Bernice has too many supporting characters along for the ride, so the adventure is always digressing to what they're doing, what they're thinking. Imagine if The Husbands of River Song had Clara, Danny Pink, Rigsy, Oswin AND Missy tagging along with Twelve - there's no room for any of the scenes with the Doctor & River to have any weight. There are moments of Twelve & Bernice together that are very fleeting, but considering that this is the only companion known to have had sex with the Doctor (the documented kind, of course) and appeared in one the most acclaimed Doctor Who novels ever (Paul Cornell's 7th Doctor novel Human Nature, which was adapted into a two-part episode with David Tennant) then it feels like this is meant to get people interested in digging back into the old material to see what all of it means. Or not, since I  think there are limits to how much of that material should be considered canonical, even if it's name-dropped in episodes of the TV series. The adventure itself feels like a mashup of Time Heist with assorted special effects from The Christmas Invasion, The Stolen Earth, The Bells of St. John and Doomsday, with the alien bar from The Witch's Familiar. It's a book that warrants a 3rd or 4th read to get a handle on the details. Grade: B- (A- if you're familiar with the continuity of Bernice Summerfield and her adventures).

With 2016 featuring no new episodes, aside from a Christmas special, these 3 books are entertaining, brief and worth a look during the looonnnggg wait. Of course, I posted quotes. Enjoy!

Doctor Who: The Blood Cell by James Goss

Can the best Doctor Who stories be summed up with one question?

Can an impossible man and an ineffectual milquetoast coexist in a backwater prison on an asteroid without driving each other crazy?

Best moment for old-school Who?

Well..if you're a fan of the years when Phillip Hinchcliff and Robert Holmes were running the show, pitting the Doctor against sadistic characters in bleak confrontations, this one is for you. The one twist is that Bentley, the irredeemable head prison guard, is a woman. She remains unlikable all the way through her demise...which might be the one likable thing about her - that she gets some comeuppance in the end.

Best new thing?

A new sonic screwdriver! The Sonic Spoon! That's right - while in prison, The Doctor cobbles together a new sonic built around a spoon. There are Doctor Who utensils modeled after the sonic screwdriver that are available at retail, so it's possible that the author has a set at home and got the idea while eating fish fingers & custard while watching Peter Capaldi swordfighting with a tablespoon in Robot of Sherwood, then gazing at the sonic screwdriver-shaped handle of the spoon and saying, "Why not?"

They'd never have gotten away with that in the 20th century...

The Twelfth Doctor gets beaten up a LOT. This book is essentially a grim prison story, offering no new twists, aside from the lower-ranking guards being robot "caretakers", who reminded me of the Sheriff of Notingham's robots in Sherwood. There are plenty of bright spots - Clara's visits to the prison, the Doctor's ability to easily escape from his cell whenever he feels like it, the Garfield book the Doctor checks out of the prison library - I like that stuff, but I imagine Goss thought Peter Capaldi's tenure would be dour, so he envisioned a dour scenario, when in actuality, The Twelfth Doctor's adventures have felt more like classic Who than any episodes of the Matt Smith era. The darker approach to the series has been there, but at most, it's atypical of a family-friendly adventure series that managed to stay light in the shade.

Hooray for Jackie Tyler - best guest moment?

The Doctor's rapport with Lafcardio, the de facto prison librarian over the assortment of books kept in the library. The moment includes a subtle nod to River Song when the Doctor glances at a copy of Moll Flanders - which Alex Kingston starred in when it was adapted for television!

The 'I love me Nan'...' moment?

I think we're supposed to gain sympathy for the Governor - the warden of the prison - as the book goes on, in part because he's narrating this adventure...but I didn't. I found him too complacent to be interesting..and the build-up to his "redemption" of sorts at the end feels perfunctory than genuine. I found it more likely the Doctor would prefer to have been in far more control than is displayed, particularly after the denouement unveiling the nature of the prison and the role the Governor plays there. Episodes like Time Heist and Flatline show The Twelfth Doctor is a man of action who prefers to hold as many cards as possible; and when he's in over his head, Clara steps up to the plate to show what she has learned, but we don't see that here; that's the downside of writing a tie-in anticipating the execution of a TV series that had not aired yet.

What?!

The twists at the end: The Governor is actually a politician exiled to the asteroid, with all of the prisoners made up of his subservients and Bentley the guard was the true authority figure; the Governor hates the Doctor because he's responsible for his being there; Bentley despises the Doctor even more for having to endure the Governor as her boss - all of this is supposed to be the aftermath of a much larger adventure that's barely told in snippets of conversation in the final third of the novel; if I thought the events of Silhouette - the previous Doctor Who novel I reviewed - pastiched too many familiar twists and turns from episodes of the show..this book tries too hard to pastiche the climaxes of Steven Moffat's scripts, in which things are not as they seem, but play out as if they are, regardless. At the end of the day, this book is about The Doctor trying to persuade a guy to change his mind...in a way that this Doctor would not go along with.

Huh?!

The Judge - the monster responsible for killing the inmates and guards at the prison, is a massive robot that upgrades itself by consuming people and machinery..kind of a morbidly obese Cyberman, I think.

Where was I?

The episodes "Mummy On The Orient Express" and "Flatline" had just aired. Blood Cell had been a quick read - Goss got the dialogue of Twelve and Clara right, so the adventure sounded authentic, but the supporting characters were too opaque to tolerate, and he needed to play off the twists much sooner to keep the book entertaining. Once it's revealed who the players really are, you wonder why was it so hard for the Doctor to persuade them to rebel from it other than for the author to play off a formula? And  what the heck was the Oracle character about? That subplot felt like something that was supposed to have a payoff, but didn't.

Singlemost fabulous thing?

It's hard to top the sonic spoon, especially because it reminded me of the lightsaber spoons that came in boxes of Kellogg's breakfast cereals to tie-in with Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of The Sith...I'll say it's the scene where Clara presents a birthday cake for the Governor to pass along to the Doctor...with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver as the candle.

WHO Are You? Who? Who? Who? Who?

The BBC is going to announce who will replace Matt Smith in the role of The Doctor in Doctor Who today. Officially, the new arrival will be the twelfth actor to play the Time Lord, making him, or her  "The 12th Doctor". Your friendly South London bookie will tell you that Peter Capaldi & Daniel Rigby are the odds-on favorites believed to get the role; both are virtually unknown in the U.S., but in Britain they are better-known than Smith when he got the part. Some people think Benedict Cumberbatch might get it, since Sherlock and Doctor Who don't appear to pose scheduling conflicts (they're both BBC programs;  he could do both) and Steven Moffat runs both shows.

The truth is NOBODY KNOWS. They did a really good job of keeping it a secret - so good, that the announcement is planned to be simulcast on BBCAmerica today at 2pm.

I'm certain about two things: the new doctor will probably stick around for three, four years, tops...there's never talk of pay raises or "points on the back end" for any of these actors when their likeness adorns merchandise that makes a lot of money for the BBC - the only reason why Tom Baker is the only actor to have played the part the longest (seven years) might be because he had co-written a script for a feature film titled Doctor Who Meets Scratchman that was almost fast-tracked into production but was grounded by a lack of financing...and...Tom was forced out by enemies he'd made with his ego. Anyway, the point is, only the Beeb makes the money. No contract negotiations or producer credits or other American showbiz dealspeak; I'm sure David Tennant didn't leave to do that remake of Fright Night; he had become THE most popular incarnation of the Doctor, rivaling Tom & his scarf with his own pinstripe blue suit & eyeglasses. It's no secret that the Matt Smith years are often regarded as "Tennant jr." or Doctor Who Babies.

There's always talk about whether an American version of the series will be made ... doubtful. Two reasons: the ratings would need to average 20 million every week (it averages around 10 million on a good day, 15 on a better day, 8 or 5 at bad times - good for the CW, you might say, but only if the budget was at rock-bottom - Supernatural / Vampire Diaries , dim-lighting, walking-around-shrubs-in-a-studio-lot-at-Burbank bottom). The one time Who saw 20 million was in 1979, when an idustrial strike shut down the only other network in Britain and people who would rather watch the soap opera Coronation Street on ITV were watching part 2 of "City of Death" instead. Low-wattage potboiler detective shows like New Tricks get the same ratings as Doctor Who, which means us yankees would be hoping the U.S. incarnation could do as well as Castle. Another reason? It's too British! Americanize it and you get something we've seen before here: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Back To The Future, Sliders, Angel, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Tru Calling, Dollhouse...even The Ghost Whisperer..with it's mushy, pious, sometimes condescending sentimentality.

The other certainty? Hard core fans are on pins and needles in anticipation...arranging live tweets and recording their reactions as it happens on YouTube, Vine, Skype, Instagram, Keek, etc...

Oh, and  another certainty...there will be plenty of merchandise with the 12th Doctor..and his/her costume - the real dealbreaker that will gauge his/her popularity and appeal...is still a secret.

Oh...one other certainty.. Jenna Coleman is still in the show, whether "graduating" into The Doctor ( as many fans, including myself, are inclined to think could happen, because of the nature of the current, wonky storyline - that Clara co-exists within the Doctor's lifespan and is dependant on him to stay alive - I think), but also, she's the new Sci-Fi Babe/"It" girl - a title held by alumni such as Eliza Dushku, Jessica Alba, Charisma Carpenter, Jeri Ryan, etc...I suppose she might turn up on the cover of Maxim soon. For now, we're settling for photoshopped pictures of her in vinyl catsuits...

Update: Peter Capaldi IS the new Doctor...and people are already debating if his age and appearance will send female viewers running the opposite direction. Those in support of the decision call him a "silver fox", all opposed recall his track record of playing only  foulmouthed  bastards - Malcolm Tucker of "The Thick of It" in particular. The irony here is I recall Matt Smith fell under the same scrutiny and people already miss him. So that means all IS right with the world. We've got a new Doctor Who. Cheers. :)