One Last Halloween Treat..

Halloween 2018 is almost over...random thoughts left stirring..not much innovation regarding Halloween candy, in my opinion, though I liked Russell Stover's candy corn-flavored marshmallow with white chocolate-shell pumpkins. I also liked M&M's candy corn-flavored white chocolate-shell candies. The combination is tastier than it sounds, despite the fact that white chocolate is not actually made of chocolate. So candy corn can be delightful when blended with something that cancels out it's dry taste.

Not much innovation regarding Halloween specials for television. All is right with the world (or, depending on your perspective on current events, there's still hope) if It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is still airing annually on network television.

There's more viewing options regarding movies these days. People are trying to make a big deal of the  90's Disney movie, Hocus Pocus. It has it's moments, sure, but maybe the reboot will improve on it...oh, sure, don't be surprised...I can see it happening...Disney tested the waters with a sequel novel, but I can imagine Tina Fey, Rebel Wilson and Aubrey Plaza as the new Sanderson sisters...or maybe do a race swap and reimagine the Sanderson witches as voodoo priestesses, instead...or just do Goosebumps 3 with a more substantial role for Jack Black this time around, assuming he's not busy filming the sequel to The House With A Clock In It's Walls, which, at a glance, looked like a movie starring Paul Dini & Misty Lee (that would be neat), though it's success means Puffin/Penguin/Putnam with hopefully reissue the John Bellairs novel in hardcover, because paperbacks age terribly.

And I'm still wondering why Blumhouse didn't cast Danielle Harris alongside Jamie Lee Curtis in that Halloween reboot film...saving Jamie Lloyd for the next reboot, I guess, since having an older version of Laurie's daughter from Halloween 4 confront Michael Myers and/or team-up with Laurie is one of the few new sequel ideas in that Trick or Treat pumpkin bucket.

I hope you all had a happy Halloween this year. Don't try to finish all the candy at once. Goodnight! ;)

Only To Sleep by Lawrence Osborne

          Way out west, there was this fella,
         this fella that I want to tell you about,
          fella by the name of Philip Marlowe.
          At least that's the handle his beloved,
          yet often sozzled creator gave him.
          But he never had much use for it
          himself.
          This Marlowe, he often called himself
          a "Shamus", with emphasis on
          "SHA" when pronounced, like
          "Sha-na-na" and not "Shay". Now,
          Shamus, that's a name no one
          would self-apply where I come
          from. But then there was a lot
          about this gumshoe that didn't
          make a whole lot of sense to me.
          And a lot about where he lived,
          likewise. But, then again, maybe
          that's why I found Marlowe and the
          place he lived in so durn
          interesting.
          Now this here story I'm blogging
          about took place in the late-80's,
          just about the time of Madonna
          and Max Headroom and cartoons
          talking mermaids and dogs talking
          like Burt Reynolds and just before
          Michael Keaton put on a pair of
          Nike boots and dressed up as
          Batman. 1988. I only mention it
          'cause sometimes there's a man,
          I won't say a hero, 'cause what's
          a hero? But sometimes there's a
          man, and I'm talking about this
          shamus here, sometimes there's
          a man - well, he's NOT the man for
          his time and place. He DOESN'T fit
          right in there, he's an anachronism,
          and that's Philip Marlowe, in Los
          Angeles. And even if he's not a very
          perceptive detective, and Marlowe
          was most certainly NOT that, quite
          possibly the least-perceptive player
          in his chronicles, which would place
          him high in the running for the most
          clueless, yet highly-respected sleuth
          in detective fiction worldwide...But
          sometimes there's a detective...
          sometimes there's a detective...
          Ah, I lost my train of thought, here.
          But...ah, hell. He's the only one who
          cares. I done introduced him enough.

         
Writers will do a thing sometimes to amuse themselves with the manuscript. They'll name-drop an actor who could be their choice for playing the character in their book for a possible film/television adaptation. With Only To Sleep, Lawrence Osborne drops Beau Bridges in there, in passing. Beau Bridges as Philip Marlowe? Or in this case, a 72 year-old Philip Marlowe. Possible. But frankly, nowadays the actor playing Philip Marlowe in a new movie with the surname of "Bridges" is likely to be Beau's younger brother, Jeff. The Dude. Playing Jeffrey Lebowski has become Jeff Bridges performance by default...I don't know if his own personality became subsumed by the character, or if it crystallized him, made him identifiable in a way that he wasn't in roles played prior to The Big Lebowski, which I always thought was the Coen brothers' answer to Pulp Fiction and is arguably more-popular than the latter nowadays...or it just seems so, since you can find Lebowski re-released in theaters every summer and is on basic cable as often as Goodfellas...

             Ah, I'm going off on a tangent..

No, back to Marlowe. He's 72 in this book, retired and walking around with a swordcane...'cause that's a cool "toy" on every old man's want-list. He feels like he's marking time, but young, 38 years-old Marlowe always talked like that in the old books..I can't remember the blogger who wrote it, but he observed that Marlowe always acts like he's wondering why he's alive, and that attitude is in this new book, too, so it feels authentic.

This is the fourth Marlowe novel authorized by the estate of Raymond Chandler. The first three tried coasting on scraps - Poodle Springs was built off 3 brief sample chapters Chandler probably typed up to amuse himself (Marlowe married to Linda Loring? Heh heh heh), Perchance To Dream was Robert B. Parker's sequel to The Big Sleep, which only felt an attempt at identifying Marlowe with his own private eye character, Spenser, followed years later with Benjamin Black's effort The Black-Eyed Blonde, which proved you could do pastiches of Marlowe in perpetuity, but would you really want to read them if it doesn't feel like Marlowe was brought back to life? That's the appeal of the Chandler books. Marlowe may never realize that he's the only character in his stories that's not hip to what's happening, but he's the only character who cares, and the real highlight of the books of finding out what he cares about in each tale that makes him push on in these quests. In The Big Sleep, he felt bad about invalid General Sternwood saddled with two dirty daughters. What's he looking for to care about in Only To Sleep? Osborne decides it's the father of the man whose identity was stolen by Donald Zinn - a con artist who faked his death and is living a new life in Mexico with his younger wife. Marlowe takes a fancy to this femme fatale, but like the Marlowe of old, he resists her comely charms while revealing that he's still tempted as he was in the old days, even though he no longer looks like a matinee idol, if that's how he ever ever thought he looked like.

Zinn is clearly a dark mirror-image of Marlowe, though I can imagine John Slattery playing him in the movie, with Ana de Armas as Delores Araya, Zinn's "widow"/partner-in-crime/able Grable/Marlowe's femme fatale. He's living the life Marlowe toyed with having accepted Linda Loring's impulsive marriage proposal in Playback and tried out in Poodle Springs before Osborne's revelation in Only To Sleep:

"You know, I was married once, but the condition doesn't agree with me. It makes me unstable."

Rather eloquently put, that. There are a lot of passages in the book that give it a convincing texture, even though itdoesn't make much of the fact that it's set in the 80's. It feels it could be set in any decade pre-internet and the results are the same. The window-dressing was never the appeal of the Marlowe books. You read Marlowe for Marlowe. And this feels like Marlowe. Ironic that he's now the same age as Jane Marple or Hercule Poirot, given how Chandler thought little of Agatha Christie's work, but the private eye genre can be just as unreal and far-fetched. Read whatever you like.

Osborne's timeline suggests Marlowe would've turned 100 in 2015, yet because he can exist in that charmed state of suspended animation that keeps fictional characters from aging further, he could still appear again, this time with a swordcane in hand for his 2nd life, pondering the ephemerality of life and the persistence of yearning...he's a Miyazaki character, now.

             
              Well, you know...sometimes
               you eat the bear, and
              sometimes, you know...
             
              The shamus abides.

              I don't know about you, but
              I take comfort in that. It's good
              knowing he's out there,
              the shamus, taking her easy
              for all us readers. Shoosh,
              I hope he keeps on going
              into the next millenia. Well,
              that about does her. Wraps
              her all up. Things seem to
              have worked out pretty good
              for the shamus and Delores.
              And it was a pretty good story,
              don't you think? Made me
              laugh to beat the band...
              parts anyway. I didn't like
              seeing Delores go. But then
              I happen to know..there's a
              little Marlowe on the way. That
              might just absolute horseshit
              on my part, but I believe that's
              the way the whole darned human
              comedy keeps perpetuating
              itself down through the
              generations. Westward the
              Studebakers, across the sands
              of time until we - oh, look at
              me. I'm rambling again. Well,
              I hope you folks enjoyed
              yourselves. Catch you later on
              down the social media trail.
              Say, friend, you got any more
              of that good non-alcoholic
              margaritas? Margarita Hayworth?..

"Superman: Kryptonite" by Darwyn Cooke and Tim Sale

The end of my loosely-connected trilogy of essays devoted to stories featuring kryptonite in Superman comic books is long-overdue...and really awkwardly put, since why would any non-Superman comic feature a story about kryptonite if it wasn't setting up an appearance by Superman? It's one of the few things that can kill Superman, the irony that it's made from the remains of his home planet; you're killing him with a "souvenir from home".

Kryptonite can be annoying, because it allows for Superman to be in peril of garden-variety gangsters and thugs; why waste imagination coming up with formidable foes for Superman to spar with, when a purse-snatcher holding a green rock the size of a penny could knock him out?

So..you can imagine the conceit in which Cooke has the audacity to suggest that the villain of his tale could be a giant sentient, telepathic chunk of kryptonite that's been passed around over the decades to various owners like the Hope Diamond, only to reveal that it was actually a cage for a telepathic alien imprisoned like a fly in amber, after briefly becoming intangible during Krypton's explosion, then trapped inside the meteorite while phasing in, ultimately using his mental prowess to force gangster Tony Gallo to act as his proxy on behalf, ultimately reforming the psychotic capo in an uneasy puppet show...I $#!+ you not, that's part of the plot in this book.

Superman: Kryptonite is actually the classiest Superman arc I've ever read, but I don't think it caught on with readers the way people say other stories have, like "Red Son" or "Whatever Happened To The Man From Tomorrow?" - but it's good company with those tales on your bookshelf of Superman stories...if you have one. It's got a sci-fi/noir feel to it, only cheapened, in my opinion, by the appearance of the post-Crisis version of Lex Luthor - the boring 1980's business tycoon. Again, just my opinion, but I prefer the Tony Stark version of Lex Luthor that was more prominent in the Silver and Bronze Age, who occasionally appears in Modern Age comics in the last decade since Infinite Crisis. Luthor didn't appear in the original tale that introduced kryptonite and he shouldn't have appeared here, even if it's abundantly clear that the only reason he's in this is to depict a new origin for the infamous kryptonite ring that he wore...which gave him cancer due to being in nonstop close proximity to it's radiation...which resulted in him faking his death and transplanting his conciousness in a cloned body that posed as the original's "son" until the clone body deteriorated and he made a deal with DC's equivalent of the Devil - Neron - in exchange for having his restored...I  $#!+ you not, this junk actually happened in the Superman books during the 90's...a character worthy of antics deserving to be banished to the now non-existent "quarter-bins" really shouldn't be seen in a classy joint like Superman: Kryptonite.

What else could've derailed this story? It was used as a launch for a new ongoing comic book series, Superman Confidential, a counterpart to another title, Batman Confidential, which was supposed to be the successor to the venerable 1990's Batman comic Legends of The Dark Knight..

..just as a sidebar, I can't help thinking a book titled Legends of The Man of Steel would've been more interesting to have for an anthology book that was going to offer stories in a similar vein - tales set in the early years of Superman's career - but Coinfiential must've sounded "kewl" to the guys occupying the DC Comics offices at the time...

Batman Confidential lasted a few years, whereas Superman Confidential never got off the ground...this opening arc was plagued with delays (I think Tim Sale was also working on the TV series "Heroes" during this time - 2006) and DC Comics editors tried filling the schedule with mediocre fill-in stories by other writers and artists. That strategy for dealing with late books tends to piss off retailers and fans alike, because too long a wait invariably kills interest and hurts sales. It couldn't have helped that five of the six issues that serialized this story had drab covers. Issue #3 has the best cover - with the giant Kryptonite rock in the background and the "villain", Tony Gallo, in the foreground.

Another problem is that Darwyn Cooke could be his biggest critic. The introduction featured in the hardcover and paperback editions has Cooke somewhat writing apologetically, that brainstorming  ideas for a standable Superman story arc that could stand the test of myriad continuity changes and reboots was no picnic and appreciated all the help he got from working with Sale, plus the fact that this tale was a total reboot of a Golden Age tale that was executed frivolously (my observation from Cooke's summation, not necessarily his) and he was grateful to just see it done and in print, at last.

That...bellies the confidence and talent on display, here. All parties involved were up to the task and did a great job. It's one of the best Superman comics I've read. And it's even better collected as a graphic novel. I $#!+ you not.

Doctor Who: The Stone Rose by Jacqueline Rayner

Genies are tricksters. Be careful what you wish for. In some tales, the actual wording of the wish you make begats unforeseen consequences. You wish you were rich...and the bill collectors show up. You wish you had a new car...and it's a car belonging to some wealthy drug lord...You wish you were famous...and it turns out you are that wealthy drug lord, pursued by bounty hunters...in that new sportscar you wished for. Nice.

And that's three wishes, already. Some tales hint about wishing for more wishes...others say ixnay on the 'wishing for more wishes'. Next Master, please.

And there's the character of the Djinn, or Genie. They rarely ever look like Robin Williams or Barbara Eden in these stories. The genie of 1001 Arabian Knights has more in common with Jafar when he became a genie in Disney's Aladdin. The business of Tony Nelson marrying 'Jeannie' was inspired by Bewitched, which was inspired by the movies I Married A Witch and Bell,Book and Candle...which might be inspired by the farcical "romance" scenes with Titania the Fairy Queen & Bottom in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream...that theory is entirely mine..though I don't think it's an original conclusion; I haven't checked if anyone else saw that.

There is a genie of sorts in Doctor Who: The Stone Rose, but the selling point of the novel was the 10th Doctor & Rose investigating the origin of a stone statue dating back to ancient Rome resembling Rose Tyler residing in the British Museum in London. Yes, this predates the episode revealing that the 11th Doctor's sidekick, Rory Williams, was working at the same museum as a security guard, so there's some wibbly-wobbly overlap for a potential future "Past Doctor Who Adventure" for Gareth Roberts or James Goss to type up if they want...they'll just need to have an icebag ready to deal with resolving continuity headaches. I'm not going to do this, so I can keep mulling over it.

The genie in Stone Rose is a Genetically Engineered Neural Imagination Engine. Described as a small, scaly creature, a cross between a baby dragon and a duck-billed platypus.

And...this "Genie" talks like Flintstones character The Great Gazoo. The best stuff in Stone Rose is the stuff with this G.E.N.I.E., but he appears in the last quarter of the book, so it's all plot denouement rather than plot & character  development; it becomes a Saturday Morning Doctor Who...with animation by Filmation, likely, but the concept of this magical creature, particularly the dragon-like description and Gazoo-esque personality, stayed in my brain years after reading the book.

It reminded me of other characters from other places. The best example is the wish-granting, genetically-engineered lab experiment resembling a dragon that appeared in an issue of World's Finest, featuring Superman & Batman, in a story written by Dennis O'Neil. Doesn't that sound like a likely inspiration? There are plenty of fantasy stories about a stopwatch that stops time, for example. Stories about magic dragons granting wishes, in summantion, sound more frequent than one would think. While preparing this post, I remembered Figment, the magic dragon from Epcot Center at Walt Disney World who had his own comic book series from Marvel Comics a few years ago. There are also Pocket Dragons, Smurf-like plastic figurines of cutsey baby dragons that even had their own cartoon show at one point. I'm absolutely convinced that G.E.N.I.E could've been based on one or any of these things.

So..in time for the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who, original novels like The Stone Rose were reprinted..in this case, because it counted as an historical adventure  (everyone seems to just remember the David Tennant Doctor facing a lion in the arena, go figure). And..according to Wikipedia, it was the best-selling of the Doctor Who novels from the current series, so that's something, although maybe those Douglas Adams-branded novelizations of Adams' Who scripts might've bumped that down a few notches by now.

So the newer edition of Stone Rose came with an introduction by the author, Jacqueline Rayner. Would she bring up the G.E.N.I.E character? Yeah, she did. Should I buy this book? Yeah, I did. Did she confirm all that you thought inspired the character? No, she didn't - she claimed she was inspired by the severed monkey's paw from "The Monkey's Paw", which, to my knowledge, does not feature any dragon-platypus hybrids. Maybe she gave that answer because the plot mechanics in that last quarter do echo the story, but the reference that inspired the visual of the G.E.N.I.E is not there, so that may be her way of dodging any concern about copyrights and trademarks.

It's like this: I think I solved a puzzle, but the answer key provided to check is some kind of nonsense, so I'm just left with a gathering of stray observations that fit into something that made the book more-appealing past it's sell-by date, but will just stay scattered in the air...be careful what you wish for..

Woody Woodpecker: The Movie

I don't think Cartoon Network ever showed reruns of Woody Woodpecker cartoons...if they did, they came and went. Universal Pictures owns the character, but I don't think they even air his cartoons on their children's programming cable channel, Universal Kids.

So...is the out-of-nowhere emergence of a live-action/CG Woody Woodpecker movie akin to when DreamWorks made the Mr. Peabody and Sherman movie? If so, Woody's lucky he's not owned by Sony, who didn't greenlight a Popeye directed by the sole individual responsible for making the Hotel Transylvania movies look good..because they're just not that into Popeye.

But that's not so...Woody Woodpecker cartoons are still very popular in Brazil, where it's still shown daily, so this movie is explicitly aimed at that fanbase. It's the same logic that resulted in those two (!) animated Top Cat feature-length cartoons that premiered in Mexico and an upcoming film adaptation of the obscure DePatie-Freling cartoon series, Here Comes The Grump. If there's a surefire guarantee of a profit to be made, they will make a film. I'm hoping some other country out there is also into Crazylegs Crane or The Mumbly Show. Jabberjaw?

So it's because Brazil was the original target audience for this film that native Brazilian actress Thaila Ayala (who kinda reminds me of Law & Order actress Annie Parisse) gets top-billing in her English-language acting debut as co-lead alongside Psych co-star Timothy Omundson (barely recognizable with the grubby-looking beard). Ayala plays the dimepiece girlfriend/fiance to Omundson's yuppie and bails on him after enduring Woody Woodpecker's pranks one too many times. This allows Omundson's character the opportunity to reconcile with his estranged pre-teen son and cultivate a flirtation with the cute forest ranger...wait, I haven't explained the plot yet..

Have you seen Peter Rabbit? How about Yogi Bear? Kangaroo Jack? The Smurfs? The Smurfs 2? Garfield? Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties? Alvin and The Chipmunks? Alvin and The Chipmunks 2, 3, 4?

The plot of Woody Woodpecker isn't particularly innovative. The yuppies hope to flip lakefront property by building a luxury cabin by the lake (oddly enough, thry make a curious decision to aint the outside of the cabin entirely in blue...if this were a "Pink Panther" CG movie, the plot would be about the panther painting the cabin pink...do NOT be surprised if the rumored Pink Panther CG film has that plot), only to blow their budget by recouping from loses made by Woody - who didn't want them disturbing his habitat - but manage to complete the project after achieving a truce after the bird gets along with Omundson's son. By then, Ayala's character has split around the 45-minute mark (the "screenwriter" neglected to have her say, "Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue", but I'm not sure if they air reruns of Green Acres in Brazil) and the rest of the film is devoted to the reunited father-and-son rescuing Woody from goofy poachers and helping the son jam in a rock band with local kids.

It's predictable, familiar, not particularly cinematic, unambitious in scope, clumsy yet competently well-done. If most of the live-action/CG hybrid movies I mentioned earlier felt like stuff that you would think would have the decency to premiere on television like those 3 weird, but harmless  Fairly Oddparents live-action TV movies Nickelodeon aired a few years ago, well, this debuted straight-to-deal everywhere else. Popularity of Thaila Ayala in Brazil notwithstanding, I couldn't help wondering if this cast was really first choice. Were Brendan Fraser and Carmen Electra really unavailable? Was Fraser really reluctant after appearing in similar fare for over two decades? Or really too-expensive?

How was the eponymous title character? Woody was just fine. Perhaps the fact that this wasn't particularly high-profile prevented any superfluous superficial design tinkering that would've led to ghastly results. Eric Bauza does a great job recreating the voice. I thought the scale for the interiors of Woody's treehouse home looked too small for him to actually dwell in, but it's nothing terrible. The film's greatest accomplishment is that it fits right in with the other films in this recent genre of live-action/CG hybrids and gets away with doing so on a cheaper budget. As a bonus, if you sit through the end credits, a restored print of a vintage Woody Woodpecker cartoon Niagara Fools plays (albeit in 3:2 format ratio instead of full-screen - odd, since the live-action film was in full-screen). The plot ofthe cartoon involves a goofy park ranger's attempts to prevent Woody from recklessly jumping over Niagara falls in a barrel. I remember this was broadcast as a heavily-edited instrumental music video during the late-80s and early 90's reruns and the complete cartoon had been rarely seen thereafter...possibly because Woody's efforts could be misunderstood as attempted suicide...or the park ranger repeatedly surviving the falls in the barrel might confuse misguided children into jumping off waterfalls or cliffs..whatever. it's nice to see it again. If the Woody Woodpecker cartoons aren't as acclaimed as the Looney Tunes or Disney cartoons or even Hanna-Barbera cartoons, they usually had a faster pace that kept them from wearing out their welcome..that's why his balloon at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade endured as long as it did. Certainly longer than Popeye's.

"Bugs (Bunny) must always be provoked into action...if he isn't provoked, he runs the risk of becoming an unmotivated bully, like Heckle and Jeckle, or Woody Woodpecker at his worst." - Chuck Jones

Time To Grow Up, Toys R Us "kids"..

You could say the writing was on the wall when their magnificent Times Square location was closed 3 years ago, but it's now officially the end of the Toys R Us retail chain, following the slowest liquidation sale I ever did see. It really did feel like the last two months they were offering everything at only 10% discount.

Did I get to buy anything good?

Well, it's not like that ferris wheel was ever available to own..

I brought the "Toys R Us Exclusive!" Funkopop Fraggle Rock figure of Sprocket the dog, because it just looks fantastic (at 20% off) and the DVD of Woody Woodpecker: The Movie (at 10% off)..that was in the early days..I had a hunch that by the time they got to 50%, I would be staring at empty shelves. They had an iron grip on the Lego merchandise - I wouldn't be surprised if they just boxed those up and shipped them to some outlet mall chain or Family Dollar or whatever. I was curious about buying the updated version of Clue that replaced Miss White with Dr. Orchid, but I wasn't committed to keeping track of anything. Prior to this liquidation, I had gotten into those Funko "Mystery Minis" mini-figures of characters from The Disney Afternoon and wound up with three Negaduck figurines.

Toys R Us was never particularly good at sales...it was only by comparison to the mom-and-pop toy stores, the Kmarts, the Targets, the comic shops...then it looked like they offered better deals by a narrow margin. Plus, unlike the comic shops and mom-and-pops, you could get your money back or make exchanges without difficulty. I don't think the mom-and-pop shops will re-emerge as the main place to shop for toys and games, but there's something about Toys R Us' pricing  strategies that eventually kept them from meeting their quota in the wake of increasing options to shop online or go to other stores. As a kid, I remember Kay Bee Toys and Lionel's Kiddie City toy stores were more popular because they had better prices on popular toys and video games, whereas Toys R Us usually only had lower prices on racecar test tracks and plastic toy dinette sets. They did have good prices on Hot Wheels and Matchbox toy cars; tourists would buy them a lot, as they were actually more expensive in countries outside the U.S.

Because the name of the store is such a recognizable brand across the globe, I wouldn't be surprised if the brand was acquired and the stores were revived, albeit in a smaller scale, possibly as a chain of upscale boutique toy shops..yeah, that's certainly not the same, plus it depends on whether or not the marketplace for upscale plastic toys, but I'm picturing something that can survive between the gentrified boutique and seedy-looking videogame stores.

Should it only be about selling toys? With Kids R Us and Babies R Us it looked like they were testing the waters before just sticking with the Babies department before the 90's ended, but I suppose the word "Toys" in the name kept them from thinking outside the box and feeling like they were overreaching if they were to add a "Home Furnishings"/"Intimate Apparel"/"Food" department...then it would really look like a Kmart.

And bring back Geoffrey the giraffe...they'd been kinda non-committal by keeping giraffes in their marketing material for the last decade or so, but it always seemed like Geoffrey had been retired, yet he was prominent during the chain's heyday...food for thought.

So...have I watched the Woody Woodpecker movie?

To be continued...

Fishing For Batgirl Movie Hype...

"Because the TheBatgirlTheMovieHypedotcom knows that movies in development are in development even when we know nothing about whether anyone involved in working on development of The Batgirl film is actually working, we're experimenting with discussion posts. For dealing with pure speculation, our head writer will publish some loosely-connected thoughts on the subject, for which he'll leave open the already-open comment section for readers to discuss.."

1. I'm almost done reading Batgirl: The Bronze Age Omnibus. This is a large book reprinting a batch of Batgirl stories in full color with nice paper. I believe 6 of the comic book creators who contributed material reprinted in this book are still alive, so collecting autographs is not out-of-the-question, plus if you count the foreword by Gail Simone, that bumps it to 7...the best stories in the book are the batch by Frank Robbins & Don Heck, particularly near the end, when Commissioner Gordon co-stars with Barbara Gordon, building up to the reveal that he knew all along that she was Batgirl and didn't stand in her way. It makes sense for the Commish to be part of Batgirl's main supporting cast; ideally, I could see him playing the role of confidante that Alfred Pennyworth plays to Batman, but they never realize that potential...even now, after a storyline in which Commissioner Gordon was Batman..it is amazing how the stories aren't too different from modern Batgirl tales at the core. Of the stories in this volume, Batgirl encounters 1 A-list villain  (Catwoman), 3 D-list villains  (Killer Moth, the Cavalier, the Joker's Daughter), 2 wannabes/neverweres (Mr. Scratch, the Maze syndicate) and a bunch of run-of-the-mill grifters snd gangsters. The best writing comes from the Don Heck-illustrated half of the Frank Robbins run, though I did enjoy Gil Kane's art for that story inspired by Pop Art icon Andy Warhol getting shot at his infamous "factory" studio. I recommend this book..not sure if I'd pick up a Volume 2, since it's hinted that the stories and art are handed down to the B-list/C-list creators as Batgirl's adventures tumble around through Batman Family and Detective Comics..maybe if the shop has a "display copy" to peak through first.

2. I had found two interviews online with Christina Hodson, the screenwriter of The Batgirl and Harley Quinn's Birds of Prey movies. The first is really a sound bite on YouTube, the other is a podcast interview from last month in which she only offers a one-sentence answer when inquired about whether she's writing The Batgirl, to which she answered that, yes, she is. And that was all she said about it. The interview revealed that she's not on any social media, which is frustrating, because I was curious to see if I could learn insights about her as a working writer - what kind of movies she enjoys, does she read anything, does she know who Batgirl is..little stuff. The podcast interview revealed that she liked writing gothic children's stories in the style of Edward Gorey and thought references to the latest technology in movie scripts tend to date badly...in that regard, I think her approach to Barbara Gordon's other guise, Oracle, might be interesting for what she chooses to focus on/avoid...granted, I always thought Oracle's tech skills sounded like she used a lot of technobabble to hide from Batman & Black Canary that all she really did was use Google.

And I watched Unforgettable, one of the two movies she wrote that's available to rent...I don't know when exactly did Katherine Heigl begin to resemble Wendi McLendon-Covey, but if the producers of The Goldbergs have yet to cast an actress to play Beverly Goldberg's sister, they should contact Katherine's agent.

3. In my imagination, the perfect casting choices for Barbara Gordon are between Lily Collins and Hailee Steinfeld. I'm not sure if Collins is interested, but a search online revealed fans have her on their lists. She's my top pick for the role. Steinfeld has gone on record as saying that she'd like to play Batgirl, so it's a matter of a simple screen test to see who wins it. If neither of them want the part - hypothetical situation, really, since this could be a breakthrough gig for either - then you have to dip back into the pool of Alexandra Daddario, Felicity Jones and Lindsay Morgan and other alleged possibles..or they could just cast Emma Watson, instead. That's a choice that just occurred to me. It could happen.

The Batgirl Movie Returns

A little over a month after learning that a Batgirl movie "..won't be a high priority..," it was revealed that screenwriter Christina Hodson was hired to write a script for a film, presumably titled The Batgirl...I think that's the first time Batgirl has ever been referred to with "The" preceding her name, but it puts her on equal footing with Batman, perhaps.

What this means is that Warner Brothers has observed that the initial reaction to the possibility of a Batgirl movie in production was positive enough to give it another try...even when the initial go-ahead was part of a sweetheart deal to court Joss Whedon. When Justice League did lukewarm box office, Whedon suddenly backed away from Batgirl, claiming he didn't have a story to tell...which I recall claiming was b.s...I was expecting his take on Barbara Gordon to fall along the lines of his other work, so it probably wouldn't have looked innovative...just competently done. As with Wonder Woman, the comic books are really weak - I remember writing that I liked the Batgirl comics with Stephanie Brown, but more for the character than the plotlines or new supporting characters created for that run. Batgirl usually captured our imaginations when she appeared on television moreso than in the comic books...just like Wonder Woman! And in live-action, though I liked how she was portrayed in cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series and The Batman. The only neat tricks the comic book Batgirl had that haven't been adapted for the TV and film screens were a photographic memory, plus aplomb with advanced computer tech and - this one is obscure - a knack for hypnosis.

Hodson's past credits include genre thrillers Shut-In and Unthinkable. She also wrote the script for Bumblebee: The Movie, a Transformers spin-off prequel not directed by Michael Bay...which implies it won't have the misanthropic cynicism that shaded the last five Transformers movies. Here is the whole point of this post: Hailee Steinfeld stars in Bumblebee. I had mentioned in my previous Batgirl-related post that she had gone on record as saying she wanted to play Batgirl, albeit this remark was when Joss Whedon was attached to the project, but his absence doesn't mean she wouldn't be interested in playing Barbara Gordon with new people involved, particularly if it's anticipated that Warner Brothers is keen on getting a female director. If Steinfeld wants it - anyone still remember those purple Batgirl-esque she wore to the Grammy Awards this year? - she can get it.

I'm still curious about what the plot of The Batgirl could be. There are some good ideas in Chuck Dixon's Batgirl: Year One. Batgirl wanting to join the Justice Society. Pairing Killer Moth with Firefly. I always thought the scenes depicting her interaction with Batman and Robin in this story had more to do with editorial inference regarding those characters at the time, rather than how they would've acted, so while I like the idea that Batman is supporting Barbara with supplies and equipment, I thought it was portrayed better elsewhere. I like how Jason Bard was introduced, even though a little of him goes a long way in the old comics (I believe Frank Robbins pulled a fast one by introducing Bard so that he didn't have to write about Batgirl and slowly write her out of her own series to write more about the terribly-dull Jason Bard, Private Eye). In fact, without Marcos Martin's art, we might not even be talking about Batgirl: Year One.

Not sure which of Batgirl's different costumes will inspire the movie version, but it's gotta show off the motorcycle...I actually believe Barbara Gordon would have to be adept at motorcycle maintenance & repair if she's going to keep that bike in good shape. It would be cool to show her handy with tools...I don't think that's been depicted in the comics at all, but it makes sense.

It's also possible that Warner Brothers hired Hodson because she wrote the script for the Birds of Prey movie, which would've featured Harley Quinn, Batgirl, Poison Ivy and Catwoman. It's alleged that this film faded away when Suicide Squad also did lukewarm business. DC Films has Aquaman, Shazzam and Wonder Woman 2 on the schedule. For sure. There's a Flashpoint that's supposed to star Ezra Miller and Ben Affleck as The Flash and Batman, respectively, but that might not be happening...it's just fading out. Affleck still has one more film in his contract, so he could appear in The Batgirl to fulfill that obligation and that would be cool. It's a real pity that he never got a solo Batman film going, yet he's played the character in more films under the shortest amount of time than any other actor to date, and his performance has been good work.

So there we are. For now. The Batgirl is on. Female screenwriter. Female director  (we think so). Hailee Steinfeld (maybe). The Penguin, Killer Moth, Firefly, Roxy Rocket, Calculator, Cluemaster, Poison Ivy (villains?). Harley Quinn, The Batman (guest-stars?). Jason Bard, Stephanie Brown, Luke Fox, Dinah Lance  (supporting characters). Cool motorcycle  (absolutely). Purple costume (why not?). Contractually obligated Ben Affleck  (possible). Release date: _____ (I have no idea).

"Totally Awesome: The Greatest Cartoons of The Eighties" by Andrew Farago

Let's get to that list, shall we?

In the order by which they appear in the book:

1. The Smurfs

Each respective series on the list has a chapter devoted to a condensed history of its production, with quotes offering insights on the development of the show. Interestingly, the spotlight shines on one person in particular, who is strongly suggested to be the reason for the series success...and in some cases, it's someone I didn't know much about before. Regarding Smurfs, it's Gerald Baldwin, who shepherded the first four seasons of the show. This was Hanna-Barbera's first major hit in over a decade; much of the 70's was wasted capitalising/cannibalizing the initial success of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? (even Superfriends had it's genesis as a Scooby-Doo knockoff) or dull, gimmick-riddled new cartoons featuring faithful standbys Fred Flintstone or Yogi Bear. I liked learning that The Snorks was a dumping ground for rejected Smurfs story ideas, and that Baldwin thought The Smurfs and The Magic Flute was "crappy". To be fair, I thought the animation in Magic Flute was about as good as the TV series animation ever was, but the pacing of the story and the voices were poor.

2. Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends

..in which Don Glut bemoans his lot, forever associated with the late Dennis Marks' apocryphal, yet charming take on Spider-Man that was inspired by the Bob Hope-Bing Crosby-Dorothy Lamour "Road to..." movies, in which Spidey had adventures and told/traded jokes while hanging out with Iceman & Firestar. Glut HATED Ms. Lion, Aunt May's pet dog, created by Marks as a mascot/pet for the series, and would insist on inserting scenes with her in scripts that Glut intentionally wrote her out of. Meanwhile, the rest of us fans of the series in the U.S.  wonder if Disney will ever wake up and release the series on Region 1 DVD.

3. He-Man and The Masters of The Universe/She-Ra: Princess of Power

Lou Scheimer hit the jackpot, here. It just so happens a generation of incredibly talented artists and writers cut their teeth working for Filmation during this time - even taking advantage of a brief strike at the Disney studio, which resulted in some top talent in need of work. Both of these shows were better than they were likely conceived to be, with the push to be toyetic.

4. Inspector Gadget

Less than a handful of Bruno Bianchi's concept/development sketches of Inspector Gadget are reprinted in the book...Bianchi's style reminds me of Sergio Aragones - that got me imagining a great Inspector Gadget comic book that seems obvious, but we have yet to see, drawn by Sergio Aragones. That would be cool.

I recall the idea of Gadget's extendable arms and legs was based on Dynomutt, because Andy Heyward had worked on both shows.

5. The Transformers

As with He-Man, She-Ra and perhaps G.I. Joe, The Transformers  has been the subject of coffee table books of its own, so the ground covered here has been well-tread, but inserted for posterity. The weakness of the book becomes more obvious in these sections, but I have a nice anecdote of my own to share: years ago, on the Comic Book Resources forums, series writer Buzz Dixon had responded to my question about the trailer that Optimus Prime is always shown towing when he's in the form of a truck..Where does that trailer come from? It's clearly a separate component/accessory, not part of Optimus Prime in his robot form. And yet, whenever/wherever he transformed into a truck, the trailer slides into place! Dixon confessed that none of the people could figure out an explanation for what that trailer's deal was(!)...and just let it go as something they weren't going to put much emphasis on.

6. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

You do get a sense that the people who enjoyed working on these shows the most wanted the audience to believe that they believed in the series' concept. I'm tempted to look up the earliest, "improvised" episodes of G.I. Joe, then stare-and-compare with later "researched" episodes, since the animation for all the Sunbow-produced shows was rarely particularly good..and at the end of the day, this show was always about a bunch of guys dressed as The Village People vs. a bunch of guys dressed like the bad guys from Spaceballs.

7. Jem and The Holograms

This is a concept that probably would've been more popular than it was if the animation and stories matched the energy and pace of the title sequence. I don't know...the theme song/sequence was catchy enough to draw you in (though I wouldn't say that out loud) but the "Afterschool Special"/soap opera-feel to the stories was too earnest, imo. It should've been more like Josie and The Pussycats in story-style...that's probably the way it would go if there was ever a reboot.

Btw, Rich Morris did a truly truly outrageous unauthorized Jem/Doctor Who crossover webcomic years ago that's archived on his Shipsinker website, which established that Stormer and Eric Raymond were errant Time Lords from Gallifrey...believe that, true believer..believe that.

8. Thundercats

I think YouTube still has this audacious fan-made trailer for a live-action Thundercats film, culling footage from Troy, The Chronicles of Riddick, Stargate, and I don't recall offhand what else, then digitally coloring Brad Pitt and Vin Diesel to resemble Lion-O and Panthro. Vin Diesel is a movie producer, YouTuber; dare Vin Diesel to make a live-action Thundercats movie and he'll do it!

9. Muppet Babies

This is one of those shows where you'll have to trust me was actually good; it has Jim Henson's fingerprints on it - the Henson heirs are trying to "Walt Disney's"-brand name recognition on new stuff that didn't even exist as incoherent scribbles in any of Jim's notebooks, but Muppet Babies has his stamp proper...this, Fraggle Rock and the first live-action film with the Ninja Turtles were the last truly commercially successful projects completed during his lifetime.

..and I wish they revived Kermit the Frog P.I. - I have vague memories of seeing that cartoon and that was the only part of Little Muppet Monsters that worked for me. They should try it again...I think the Dog City TV series came from that, somewhat...but no...let's do this again with Kermit and Fozzie proper this time.

10. The Real Ghostbusters

The irony for artists and writers working on animated cartoons airing in "Seasons" is that production on these series made the work itself seasonal; they hopscotched from one animation studio to another. Any show made during this decade will likely have the same five or ten guys on average with their names on the credits. To read Tom Sito gently slam Filmation's Ghostbusters while praising DIC's The Real Ghostbusters is pretty funny, since he appears in interviews and commentary on the DVD box set of the Filmation show. The franchise is such a fallow state since the Paul Feig reboot blew that I've half-jokingly suggested adapting the 1980's animated incarnation with Jake, Eddie and Tracy the Ape into live-action. The stories may just be recycling He-Man tropes with a lighter tone, but the animation and character designs and more attractive than the Real version, which is pretty creaky-looking.

11. The Disney Afternoon (this is a cheat, as the author is actually talking about Disney's Adventures of The Gummi Bears, Ducktales and Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers )

..and "The Disney Afternoon" didn't officially premiere until September of 1990, unless people want to count it as part of the 80's, but 1990 felt like a new start at the time to me...aside from fashion designers attaching neon colors on clothing...

The Disney shows from this decade get short-changed, imo, as there's "Before Disney Television Animation" and "After Disney Television Animation". This was a game-changer that deserves a book of it's own. The chapter was an interesting introduction to Tom Ruzicka, whom I hadn't read much about before, or his and Fred Wolf's critical contribution to the early days, when Gummi Bears was actually going to tie-in with a line of candy (how come Haribo makes "Gummy Smurfs" but no "Gummy Gummi Bears"?) and that The Wuzzles and Fluppy Dogs were specifically designed to sell toys, whereas Ducktales was actually created to capitalize on the success of Gummi Bears moving away from its toyetic origins and becoming more story-based (the Gummis themselves were going to be named after candy flavors...is that why Gruffi Gummi is sometimes depicted in red on licensing instead of brown? What would've been his name: "Redd Gummi"?).

12. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The 1980's cartoon incarnation is still the best. All the credit really goes to three people: Fred Wolf (for selling the show), Dave Wise (for giving us an entertaining show) and Chuck Lorre (for giving us that iconic theme song - I liked learning that it was actually Chuck's voice that's shouting "We're really hip!"/"Hey! Get a Grip!"/"He's a radical rat!"/"Gimmee a break!" - I remember thinking that was Rob Paulsen, the voice of Raphael, because that's who it sounded like).

13. Garfield and Friends

On his website, Mark Evanier opts for writing about celebrities/writers/artists he knows and politicians he dislikes rather than stuff he's actually worked on. Oh, and dispensing career advice for would-be freelance writers, I guess, though it comes off more interesting than useful. And obits for people he knew...and people who he never knew (to which he writes, "I don't have any stories about Austin Tasseltyne because I never met him or worked with him, but people liked him and his movies/TV shows/apple pies were quite popular, so he had that goimg for him."). Rarely does he divuge actual stories about his work...or at least without filing the names off beforehand. So it was nice to get him to talk of his time writing Garfield and Friends episodes, because he doesn't talk shop much on his blog about his work, which is unfortunate, because I think it's better-produced than the more-acclaimed TV specials that preceded it. Garfield reached the zenith of his popularity around this point. Ironically, the comic strip is more popular without him, assuming you haven't checked out Garfield Minus Garfield.

14. Mighty Mouse (actually, this was billed as Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures, but that was the author's choice on how to identify it in the chapter heading).

With anything from Ralph Bakshi and John Kricfalusi...the superb character design and background stylings will always be marred by the inability to realize that neither can write anything worth a damn. I was most disappointed in this section, because it was fuzzy on details as to how Doug Moench contributed to the writing of the show...I have to hazard a guess that it was his job to transcribe a presentable script from the final layouts that would be passed along to other production/post-production staff - voiceover/music/editing/sound/overseas animators. Most of the people who worked on that show have had long careers since then, but Bakshi and Kricfalusi are infamous for downplaying the craft of writing as an art form that has it's own technique and discipline. As a result, everything they've done has always come off amateurish and slapdash, storywise, because they focus everything on the drawings.

So...I enjoyed this book, it's good, but not great. Something's missing. The presentation is attractive - I like how there's samples of production notes and artwork from several series reproduced and attached ontop of pages, like they've been paper-clipped, giving the book a feel like you're reading a dossier with supplementary information thst could literally spill out. However, with a book like this, you'd think the author would present a stronger defense/commentary in his text for why these shows deserve to be the greatest cartoons of that decade. The title doesn't even specify that it's necessarily just cartoons on television, but could imply animated feature films, of which I could think of six that could bulk up that list to 20:

15) The Secret of Nimh
16) The Castle of Cagliostro
17) The Great Mouse Detective
18) Transformers: The Movie (although this could be lumped in with the TV series, ad it is discussed in the chapter devoted to that show, but it's strong enough to be a separate contender)
19) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
20) The Little Mermaid

Yeah! And I didn't even get to include animated short films, of which I would suggest Night of The Living Duck and A Grand Day Out as worthy of inclusion. That would make 22.

And then there's a curious happening with (13) and (14) on the book's list: he switches the order by which the series debuted. Up until then, the list follows a timeline; Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures was old news when Garfield and Friends debuted the following year. Maybe that's a reflection on how the cartoons debutingthe following take their aesthetic cues from Mighty, particularly the Nickelodeon cartoons. That's left for us to infer. In fact, the author leaves it to the people who worked on each show to offer their conclusion as to why the respective series is considered great; it's like, "Hey! Here's my list. That's it. 'Nuff said." At a price of 50 bucks, I wouldn't mind more insight on what made these 14 cartoon shows better than other programs offered. There's no sidebars devoted to "Memorable Episodes" or "Honorable Mentions: Good Cartoons That Didn't Make The List". Those would've been cool things to add. There's unanswered questions..why isn't Fraggle Rock in there? Voltron? A Pup Named Scooby-Doo (the template for every new Scooby-Doo cartoon made since the 1990's). How about the 80's revival of The Jetsons? Or Heathcliff and The Catillac Cats? Or Thundarr (I don't care much for that one; the talent behind that series was more interesting than what they produced, but it has a loyal following). I might've been incorrect about the last two, but if I had seriously disagreed with any of the choices in that book - and I didn't, for the record; I agree with all the choices in there - then I would've thought this was just cobbled together by someone who had taken a light survey on social media and his content is grounded on the results of that. The text is just perfunctory and the only fun in reading it is the quotes from the people who worked on each show.

Curious thing I found while preparing this post: I found an alternate cover photo of the book - most likely a mockup for early solicitation purposes; there's a disclaimer on it saying it's not the final image...this cover has images of Voltron and the guys from muh-muh-muh M.A.S.K. on it. Perhaps they were just thrown in there to create suspense and surprise when the final cover was revealed, but I can't help feel we might have some alternate chapters that didn't make final cut...or it was just a ruse to prevent spoilers from leaking.

I'm trying to imagine how a follow-up book devoted to the 1990's would look..

Darkwing Duck
Ren and Stimpy
Beavis and Butthead
Gargoyles
Batman: The Animated Series
Animaniacs
Pinky and The Brain
Freakazoid!
Rocko's Modern Life
Rugrats
Daria
Dexter's Laboratory
The Powerpuff Girls
Johnny Bravo
The Simpsons

See that? That's pretty close..some of those choices I don't even care for, but I don't doubt the authenticity of their being on that list. He should totally do it...and hopefully add some flavor to his rhetoric along with it this time.

No "Batgirl" Movie? No "Batgirl" Movie.

Writer's block? Seriously?

Well, if that's the song Joss Whedon wants to sing - actually, it was "I just don't have a story" to be precise - then that's the tune we're going to hear.

And yet...

Didn't he get the ball rolling by pitching a Batgirl film to Warner Brothers/DC Films? What's really going on here? Could it be fallout from Justice League underperforming in spite of the hype surrounding Whedon filming reshoots over Zack Snyder's original cut of the film? Could it be his public image taking a beating from his ex-wife's statements about his philandering lecherous ways with co-workers at his production company? Could it be that he was given Batgirl on the condition that Justice League would be successful?

Maybe we'll learn more dirt as the days go on. I knew that with his name attached, a Batgirl film wouldn't be a pipe dream, but he was never clear about what he thought of the character beyond being influenced by Gail Simone's work...which kinda raises alarm bells, because due to editorial interference, a lot of what was happening in Gail's run wasn't particularly good. For my money, the best Batgirl comics ever were the issues Bryan Q. Miller wrote, with Stephanie Brown as Batgirl, ironically. Regarding Barbara Gordon, her best appearances as Batgirl were in Season 3 of the 1966 Batman TV series (as played by Yvonne Craig), plus in cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series , The Batman and in the respective tie-in comic books featuring those incarnations of Barbara. Plus, loathe as I am to admit, Barbara received significant character development in the 80's and 90's, when she was wheelchair-bound due to getting shot by the Joker in The Killing Joke and assumed the identity of Oracle. What's unfortunate about that bit is that it usually feeds a polarizing argument for keeping her in the wheelchair, in light of her current Batgirl characterization coming off superficial and lacking empathy. This is more a reflection of the quality of the scripts we've been getting to me...judging from the current comic books, it's still an ongoing problem that hasn't been reconciled. I don't know why DC Comics has been slow to change Batgirl writers - I wouldn't mind seeing K. Perkins take over the book now that Superwoman has been cancelled; I think she's good at writing natural dialogue and keeping a good pace with the suspense. If they could reconcile the positive elements of the character's evolution with their attempts at a soft reboot of the character's history, then her current comic book adventures would really start cooking. In other words, let Babs act her age.

Back to Hollywood. The Batgirl film is now "...no longer a priority." It looks like the next film in production is Shazzam, with Zachary Levi as Captain Marvel. After that, the only sure thing is the Wonder Woman sequel - everything else is..in the air. It's not clear if Flashpoint will happen, no clue if Matt Reeves' Batman movie will see the light of day (the underwhelming and tepid response to the possibility of seeing Jake Gyllenhaal as Batman does no favors). It always looked like DC was baiting TV executives with concepts for a Batgirl TV series, anyway, especially with the "Batgirl of Burnside" angle of the current comics. The floor is clear for that to happen.

Meanwhile, I'm still mulling over what might have been. I seriously doubted anyone took Lindsay Lohan's attempt to campaign for the part seriously...though in a parallel universe...to get an idea of how I imagine a different Lindsay Lohan's acting performance as Barbara Gordon, check out actress Caity Lotz's Sara Lance in Legends of Tomorrow. Hailee Steinfeld, of Pitch Perfect and True Grit fame, suggested as of last month that she would've loved to have played Batgirl in Joss's film..I actually see this as something that could have happened if things hadn't derailed the way they just did, even when it looked like Warner Brothers was going to push ahead and find a replacement for Whedon. At this year's Grammy Awards, Steinfeld showed up on stage in a stunning form-fitting white dress that showed off a pair of high-heeled, knee-high purple boots! If that wasn't a not-so-subtle hint about her campaign to play Batgirl...then she still looked great in those boots, regardless. She kinda looks like Yvonne Craig in some photos..that would be kinda cool if they casted her. I wouldn't object if they had.

Meanwhile, I had been narrowing down potential casting choices by selecting  Lily Collins. She just seems like a capable  actress who gets name-dropped here and there, but hasn't really had a breakthrough role - she's accumulated a number false-starts (The Mortal Instruments, Rules Don't Apply, Mirror Mirror) but nothing that stuck with an audience.

So no Whedonesque Batgirl, then. That's okay. Barbara Gordon won't sound like Buffy Summers or Winifred Burkle or Willow Rosenberg...or Veronica Mars. Barbara Gordon should sound like a woman who's as smart as Batman but has the poise of Wonder Woman and has Supergirl's enthusiasm mixed with Superman's humility. That's how she operates.

"Getting" Ready For Ready Player One

The film adaptation of Ready Player One looks good because The Iron Giant guest-stars in it as a replacement for Ultraman. What this means is that certain sequences won't happen exactly as they did in the book, yet we'll get an improvement on what was in the text. There's a logical explanation for why the Iron Giant would appear as a replacement - he was name-dropped in the book - but I think that character's presence has a greater resonance among audiences than Ultraman, so it's a trade-up. That doesn't mean a contemporary appearance in a mainstream American film by a Japanese kaiju character directed by Steven Spielberg wouldn't have been awesome...it's just...one step closer to Warner Brothers green-lighting The Iron Giant Returns/Iron Giant Comes Back/Iron Giant Vs. Mecha-Godzilla or whatever title a sequel to The Iron Giant would have. And yes, it looks like Mecha-Godzilla won't be appearing in the film, either, for similar copyright reasons. To my mind, it sounds similar to when Pixar was barred from including Barbie from the first Toy Story, but then she appears in the sequels when that film became a phenomenon.

I had read the Ready Player One novel last Fall, just after seeing the first trailer for the film. I didn't write a review because I didn't think it was a big deal..it was okay and fun to read in a lot of places. I was impressed with Ernest Cline's prose being readable...a fault I find with a lot of trendy novels is that the prose is very clumsy...but I'm a picky reader; I could never get through any Stephen King, Stuart Woods, Robert Ludlum, Tom Clancy, Clive Cussler, Michael Critchton, etc.. - books by authors that appear on shelves at supermarkets, airports, bus stations, train stations, drug stores, discount stores. I've read books 3-7 of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter And... and I guess ..And The Cursed Child counts as the 8th installment, but I never thought she wrote action scenes well..and have no desire to check out those faux-pseudononymous mystery novels "by Robert Galbraith" she's written. Incidentally, "Robert Galbraith" is a much-easier to spell name than Commonran...Comeonman...Comoreram...CalmacalmacalmacalmacalmaChameleon Strike when you're just trying to recall it casually...my interest is too...casually vacant to look it up proper.

Back to the book. The paperback edition I had read was the precursor to the new edition released, which uses one of the movie posters as the cover. It's the same as the one I had, with the narrow shape and easier-to-read-but-still-not-large-print format. I figured Spielberg wasn't planning on reanacting the plot to Wargames or scenes where we would just watch characters play old arcade/PC games. The movie suggests we're getting a mix of The Maze Runner with It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, with a Who Framed Roger Rabbit dose of spectacle...

If I could just go on a tangent for a moment..the thing with Roger Rabbit is that, as good as it was, whenever it's shown on TV reruns lately, I find that without the late Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant, the whole movie could've just fallen apart. One key casting decision. With him there, you believe everything that's happening. Eddie's the most-challenging character any actor could play in a movie like that. People like to act nostalgic about Space Jam, but the only reason that worked (and it was no Roger Rabbit) was
because everyone involved was awake, alert and working together. Nobody was sleepwalking, nobody was bored; Ivan Reitman didn't just stamp his name on it, Bill Murray wasn't bored & had fun, Michael Jordan was Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

I had just seen The Maze Runner: The Death Cure. Having never read the books, I was surprised that it ended with Thomas losing both his best friend and his girl. Theresa's death was spectacularly done, but I wouldn't have minded seeing her survive - if this were an episode of Talespin, Baloo would've flown that plane in a loop-de-loop into the collapsing building to follow her descent...so Theresa would be shown falling..into the cargo hold of the plane - which kinda looked like a military-grade version of the Sea Duck, in point of fact - so instead of Giancarlo Esposito going "Guys! I can't keep this plane hovering longer!" or whatever he said, Baloo would've been like "Hang on, li'l britches!! Ol' Papa Bear's got a trick up his sleave! Pelican Dive - don't fail me now!!" Baloo was pretty badass on that show. And I think I saw Matt Smith do a similar trick to rescue Alex Kingston in a Doctor Who episode..it's not a new trick. Jerry Bruckheimer or Michael Bay would've had it happen, though it probably would've been with Thomas inexplicably finding the strength and skill to take control of the plane and rescue Theresa..who would've been wearing a tank top & micro-miniskirt with high heels...played by Alexandra Daddario (yeah, I saw her in San Andreas). As it is, we're left with a hero who has lost his damsel and his squire, so he just gets to..be around and..chill out on an island...maybe he'll take up fishing...or look for pirate gold.

It's with this mindset that I'm more charitable towards Ready Player One's Art3mis hooking up with Wade/Parzival in the end, as if she were the real prize...though all that money is nice...there's been criticism about the casting of Art3mis. Cline made a point of describing Art3mis as looking Reubenesque...in other words...curvaceous, full-figured...hips that don't lie...with junk in the trunk. The only actress that came to mind as I read the book was Demi Lovato, who's embraced having a curvaceous, fit-and-thick figure and makes wardrobe choices that match Art3mis fan art on the web. Casting-wise, that's the only one I had..and cash-strapped Johnny Depp as Halliday, seeimg as how the movie trailer makes the Willy Wonka connection between the two characters obvious..and Depp has bills to pay...Tim Burton isn't going to make Charlie and The Great Glass Elavator (though I wish that was the Wonka movie he had made with Depp instead of the unnecessary remake)..in fact, they could just make Great Glass Elevator without Burton and Depp would still be up for it..a job is a job is a job..he's available...I wouldn't mind a 6th Jack Sparrow movie, but I might be in the minority with that opinion...stopwaitcomeback.

#WomanCrushWednesday: Demi Lovato

Wind-Up Wolf in "Sonic Forces"...maybe.

I remember owning a Sega Genesis because I wanted to play Quackshot. That's the first and only time I remember choosing a videogame console because I wanted to play a game that was exclusive to it. Now, when a videogame is available on multiple platforms...and you're not pre-disposed to either (though having a Blu-Ray player included is a sweet extra), but still don't have the bucks to make that purchase...you let it go.

And yet...

Let me explain. I would LOVE to play Sonic Forces - that's the most-recent Sonic the Hedgehog videogame. It's received the same mixed reviews that most Sonic videogames have earned over the last two decades: interesting concepts, attractive designs, poor control & camera issues, threadbare storyline, etc...however, the reviews are unanimously positive in regard to the create-a-character/custom build feature, in which you get to design a new sidekick to accompany Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and the other critters in the latest bruhaha with Dr. Eggman.

This new character - referred to among the cast as "Rookie" and by Sega's promotional material as "The Avatar" can be created as one of seven distinct species of animals - Cat, Bear, Bird, Hedgehog, Wolf, Rabbit and Dog. From there, you have a multitude of combinations of colors, shapes and clothing/accessories to chose from. By default, Sega's Sonic Team needed to create a default avatar to appear in their promotional material, so they designed an orange male wolf wearing heavy eyeglasses and sporting a number of gadgets..fans on the internet refer to him as Gadget the Wolf/Gadget the Rookie. I think it's a great design and I hope he makes it in the Sonic comic books..

Dig deeper and fan videos on YouTube demonstrate/hint that you could use the custom feature to design other famous animal characters. I saw one gamer create Usagi Yojimbo (or Miyamoto Usagi if you want to get technical), and I think there is a potential to create reasonable facsimiles of Felix the Cat, Mr. Jinx, Jose Carioca, Oswald the lucky rabbit, Loopy D'Loop, Mildew Wolf...and Wind-Up Wolf.

Who?

Well, gosh, I'm assuming you know who the preceding characters were so that I can cut to the chase, aren't I? Wind-Up Wolf was a one-shot cartoon character who appeared in Cartoon Network's What A Cartoon! The title? Wind-Up Wolf. It was written and directed by William Hanna. The plot involved The Big Bad Wolf building a robot doppelganger to go after the 3 Little Pigs. Wind-Up does not succeed, but because he's a robot, he can endure the kind of rough-handling/cartoon violence that Network Censors would normally frown upon, so it was okay for little kids to watch a robot get rocked & socked without finding the gags particularly cruel. William Hanna co-created Tom and Jerry, so he had considerable experience.

Nowadays, you can find this cartoon available to watch on YouTube like nothing, but back in the 90's, I remember being obsessed with trying to catch it and record it, because I knew ahead of time some of the backstory behind it's creation. In the early-90s, Dark Horse Comics had the license to make comic books based on MGM cartoons directed by Tex Avery, so they produced mini-series starring Droopy, Wolf & Red, Screwy Squirrel..the inaugural issue of Droopy featured an essay by artist/animator Scott Shaw that was a reminiscence of his brief time working with Tex Avery at Hanna-Barbera Studios in 1980 - "Generation Tex". Tex had suggested an idea of a "Wind-Up Wolf" built by the Big Bad Wolf to put up with all the bruises and beatings he could no longer endure. He didn't live long to develop this concept, but Shaw worked on storyboards with William Hanna at some point, because Wind-Up wound up as a Cartoon Network short film. Perhaps as a nod to Tex, the design of the character (and the Big Bad Wolf) is a nod to Wilford Wolf, the antagonist of The Kwicky Koala Show, the last cartoon Avery worked on before he died. Wind-Up Wolf was a nice, good-looking cartoon...I imagine if it had been picked up to become a TV series, they would've broadened the horizons a bit and included other characters, like Red Riding Hood, and fleshed out the personalities of the 3 pigs and Big Bad Wolf a little, with Wind-Up as the wild card in the middle of that relationship; Hanna would've probably included new episodes of Hard Luck Duck, another cartoon he had directed at the time - a reimagined Yakky Doodle. There definitely would've been cameos from older Hanna-Barbara characters, because the brief Jetsons cameo (albeit shown only in shadow, but with a familiar music cue to help anyone who was clueless) was well-received.

So...while I mull over whether or not to buy the videogame (I haven't even thought about which console I would pick up, if I do), I found a way to calm this impulse by finding fan art of Gadget the Wolf  ( remember him? That was about 2 or 3 paragraphs ago ), printing it out and using it as a coloring page to visualize my idea in lieu of actualization.

I've seen demos of the schematics on YouTube that show I could get closer to the mark than my coloring page would have you believe - bowties are available, not sure about vests - but I tried sticking with the color scheme of the cartoon character so that Gadget's apparel was color-consistent. I would definitely try incorporating both if possible to alternate.

Pretty cute...one short obscure cartoon, about 21/22 years old, causing me to write this post.

Batman: Gotham By Gaslight

In terms of style and execution, this direct-to-DVD/Blu-Ray Batman isn't really different from the other direct-to-DVD/Blu-Ray Batman movies Warner Brothers Animation has been cranking out, lately. The same murky color palette, the same pacing issues...the faux-anime look to the designs and animation. I don't think it's particularly ground-breaking, kinda slow along the middle, but I wouldn't mind re-watching it.

Why adapt Gotham By Gaslight? I remember fans would say that graphic novel is the greatest Batman story told, better than The Dark Knight Returns, The Killing Joke and Batman: Year One! I'm not sure if there's much analysis on the internet devoted to explaining that opinion, but here's my guess: to a generation or two who read Batman comics, Batman is Sherlock Holmes. There are many Sherlock Holmes pastiches depicting his efforts to identify Jack the Ripper, so having Batman solve that mystery is a treat. Ignore the fact that Gotham By Gaslight in an alternate reality and you have an archetypal Batman story  in which he solves the biggest unsolved true crime mystery ever recorded and you could understand the magnitude of the tale. No mutants, no killer clowns, no sideshow dwarves, no gangsters. We're just following Batman/Bruce use his brain.

The team behind these movies have been getting a lot of flack over their adaptations being too faithful & leaden; conversely, when they've tried to tell an original story ( Batman and Harley Quinn, a film I liked, but try finding positive reviews ), it's declared a piece of excrement. To date, the most-popular of these films is Batman: Under The Red Hood, which explains why they brought back Bruce Greenwood to voice Batman in Gaslight, rather than, say, Jason O'Mara, who's become their go-to for voicing Batman in these movies, moreso than fan-favorite Kevin Conroy. My opinion of Greenwood's Batman is that he doesn't sound different from O'Mara, but comes off less bland; I'm surprised they don't try casting Diedrich Bader more often if they're not casting Conroy.

Another thing they did was loosen the plot and change the characters in order to include more of the Batman mythos. Selina Kyle, Hugo Strange, Harvey Dent, "Dick", "Tim" and "Jason". They incorporated elements of Master of The Future, the sequel set at The World's Fair exhibition  ( just imagine a gentrified Epcot Center if you're not familiar with that and you'll picture it better ) to include more action scenes. Plus, they clearly wanted steampunk stuff sprinkled in, so we get a bat-motorcycle and bat-grapple thrown in. Those were neat. I also liked how the fight scenes didn't use martial arts much, so that makes the fight choreography less...recycled/generic. Without listening to the commentary, I am aware of plot points recycled from past Batman films - the scene where Bruce evades the Gotham police and hitches a ride with Selina Kyle in her hansom cab is a recreation of a scene in Mask of The Phantasm..up until the part where they're pretending to be making out in the cab to hide his injuries when the cops inspect it, that is.

That's a good key to understanding what I what I'm watching..this was, essentially, an R-rated "Batman: The Animated Series" movie set in a different time period, with a final twist that I'd rather let Wikipedia reveal, but I will say was pretty cool..better than having a counterpart to the Joker show up..ironic, because there is a character in the original graphic novel set up as such, but as a red herring. I wouldn't mind a sequel..probably with a little more detective work and humor next time.

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return

I finally got to see Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, which I was curious about, because I remember reading the book it was based on - Dorothy of Oz, by L. Frank Baum's great-grandson, Roger S. Baum...I guess that initial confirms that he's bonafide kinfolk...

It was what you would now think of as an attempt at a soft-reboot, ignoring all the sequels written by L. Frank Baum and only continuing from where the first book left off. Maybe there was a copyright issue ( up until the books entered the public domain, the rights to adapt the sequels were often accuired by production companies; Walt Disney himself had bought the rights and held onto them for a time ), but even so, Roger's book - and his sequels - seemed to take their cues from the MGM film with Judy Garland..because that's what most people who never encountered the books remember. It's the same approach used whenever an Oz movie is made: all thinly-veiled retellings of the same plot as the first book, with new characters sprinkled in. Ironically, L. Frank Baum's initial sequel novels in the canon were similar, abeit with a naturally more-convincing texture and abundant in imagination & originality.

So with the movies, prequels & sequels, regardless of the budget, a few familiar themes remain constant which resulted in a lot of formulaic fare. First, they boost up the iconography of the Wicked Witch of The West, whose appearance in the 1st book consisted of a single chapter, but has been made to count for something much more, largely because of Margaret Hamilton's iconic performance in the MGM film. New villains are introduced in ways that are always a callback/nod to MGM's witch, but feel like also-rans and their appearances are half-baked & perfunctory. I'm thinking of all the witches in Oz, The Great and Powerful, whose rules of engagement and power plays/motivations make no sense..or when they remember the Gnome King, like the Tom and Jerry In Oz movies did, they introduce him in a similar manner as an adjunct counterpart to the witch. In Legends, we have The Jester, an associate of the witch who was actually a bit creepier in the book, but it was never clear what his motivation to gain the witch's powers derived from, aside from just being a one-dimensional megalomaniac. The film makes this more obvious by having Martin Short voice the character...and in a falling-down-drunk-in-front-of-nightclub-parking-lot moment of desperation, they make him up to look like the Joker to try and give him an edge. I tolerated him in the book, but didn't like him in the film..and I don't believe for one second that he could outwit Glinda...although she often serves as the female counterpart to a Merlin/Gandalf/mentor/advisor/trickster figure in folklore/mythology that has the power to take decisive action but stays neutral/aloof, I doubt she could've been defeated as easily as she was here, except maybe with a wink - it wasn't her, it was her avatar or someone else - but we're supposed to accept that it is. Darn.

Second, they make much ado about the Emerald City. Every new Oz adventure is now a quest to go there, but to be fair, the elder Baum's early sequels did the same, until the sixth installment, when he had Dorothy, Toto, Aunt Em & Uncle Henry move from Kanas to live in the Emerald City as permanent residents of Oz. Dorothy became a princess and ruled Oz alongside Princess Ozma ( an interesting heroine with potential who has been caat aside, unfortunately ). Aunt Em & Uncle Henry settle down on a new farm adjacent to the town. From book 7 onwards, Baum introduces new characters who have to journey to the city or have established characters begin quests that would take them out of it. In Legends, Dorothy has to get to Emerald City via the yellow-brick-road again because the rainbow teleportation bridge ( arguably the most stunning sequence, though it looks more like 'Rainbow Brite' than Oz-appropriate ) got scrambled...fortunately, she's not alone on her journey...

And that leads to the third theme of these things: new sidekicks. Regardless of the protagonist on the quest, new sidekicks in the vein of the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion are introduced. In Legends, we get The China Princess, Tugg the tree/sailboat, Wiser the owl and, arguably the best, Marshall Mallow, a man made of candy marshmallows..at least in terms of design. Neither character really adds much to generate suspense and pace that would move the story forward; each sequence featuring them is an excuse to add more songs, which is the fourth, if sometimes optional theme that's a callback to the MGM film. The characters and story aren't deep enough to require songs to explain what they're thinking or what's at stake; each sequence slows the movie down further and I'm hitting the fast-forward button. MGM had the best songwriters in the golden age of movie musicals; why are they daring comparison?

So I've hinted the Dorothy of Oz story was servicable in book form, but watered-down in the film's adaptation. I remember a magnificent sequence in the book where the Jester's magic creates a construct of the Wicked Witch of The West as a ghost to torment Dorothy during a storm in the forest..why didn't they use that? I don't know if the animation budget/technology they had available to them would've pulled that off; most of the time, Legends of Oz has a made-for-TV look, with flat landscapes, "floating puppet" CG animation and plastic humans, but I do like the designs for the new companions and the classic Oz trio of the Scarecrow, Tin-Man and Cowardly Lion. Glinda's design reminded me of Princess Peach from the Super Mario Brothers games, but she was cute. The fleeting appearance of the Wicked Witch of The West in the Jester's musical number was striking enough to feel like I was watching a different movie for a moment. It's only the character designs for the Jester, the Kansas locals and Dorothy herself that seem uninspired. For a sequel, you would assume Dorothy's appearance would've been influenced by time spent in a strange new world, though I'll admit that's my idea and most depictions of Dorothy in sequel adventures depict her in similar ways that don't break from tradition. Maybe it's too imply that her initial trip to Oz was equivalent to a child's first trip to Disney World and there's no trauma..there's not much in the way of scholarly research out there devoted to the Oz books as there is with Alice In Wonderland, so any serious deep discussions of Dorothy's adventures in the canon are likely limited to discussion groups online and venerable Oz fan clubs.

I actually thought the film was okay. It falls in with every other Oz-inspired production out there. The only one time it seemed like there was a show of real ambition to adapt a story by L. Frank Baum that didn't lean on the MGM film too much or tried too hard to stray away..was Return To Oz. Nobody likes the opening scenes of Dorothy in the children's ward of a mental hospital..and the scene with the characters trying to escape the destruction of the Gmome King's lair looks a bit dodgy, but otherwise, there's well over an hour of filmmaking perfection sandwiched in there and it's the closest any film got to bringing those old sequel novels to life.

One last bit..the "If I had the chance.." moment. I would want to adapt either The Lost Princess of Oz or The Magic of Oz as live-action films, with a mixture of CG and practical effects when needed. Obviously, I would want to adapt the stories that showed L. Frank Baum at his most creative and dispell any notion that I wanted to do an homage to the MGM film...though I'm sure there are some people who would find a way to do so anyway.