Batman: Three Jokers

   I like those free playing cards...I 

  noticed nobody's talked about     them..

DC Comics' seems to be on the verge of planning a funeral for itself...how many more paroxysms can it take within a single decade? There's a rumor that 2021 might be the year that longtime fans might want to consider dusting off the free black armbands that were bundled with copies of Superman #75 from 1992 and I'll leave it at that:

           Who invited Darkseid?

I must note how some of the ongoing storylines have a weird, metaphorical quality; Scott Snyder's incomprehensible mini-series, Dark Knights: Death Metal, revealed that Batman and Superman are cadavers, keeping themselves alive to fight 'till the fight is won with mystic paraphernalia, to put it simply. In the main Batman book, Batman is acting oddly out-of-character, leaving his entire fortune in the hands of Lucius Fox, an employee, albeit a trusted one, via a conservatorship, but this is all preamble to establish one of Lucius' sons becoming the replacement Batman in an upcoming storyline, rather than heir apparents Dick Grayson or Barbara Gordon or his own son, Damian...well, it's your money, Bruce.

Let's get to the real meat among the potatoes: having finished reading Batman: Three Jokers, it is my belief that this mini-series is the last good Batman comic book we are going to see for a long time, if ever again. I'm not really writing this in stone by putting that statement in bold italics, but it feels that way right now; if there are any good Batman comics forthcoming...it's all gravy to me; I can't really see anything as good as, or better, than this mini-series; I don't believe it was intended as a finale or last Batman comic, but...I'm not sure we'll see anything better. We'll see, right? Meanwhile, I mean it with sincerity that this was the best Batman comic I've read since Mad Love. And I enjoyed it more than The Killing Joke. More on this in a bit..

Years ago, I remember an editorial from an issue of Comic Buyers Guide that described 2 types of Batman vs The Joker stories:

1) The Joker steals the Batmobile:

   🎶 And the Joker got away! 🎶

2) The Joker tortures Batman over a pot of tea:

   🎶A cuppa' arsenic, some tea    and you..🎶 

Three Jokers was teased as being like the first, but is really more like the latter. The tease came from scenes in 2 crossovers that are not particularly required reading:

                         This.

                       And this.

Eventually followed by the formal announcement:

Why wasn't this used as the cover art for the hardcover collection?

When it became clear the mini-series was going to be a sequel to The Killing Joke, everyone wondered if this was going to stick the landing. I'm not a big fan of Killing Joke, though I'm aware every dark take on Batman and The Joker takes it's cues from that story; fans of Oracle hate it, even though it's the only reason Barbara Gordon remained in a wheelchair, as a callback to that story. And Alan Moore is no fan of it:

 I saw that movie...Barbara is probably the only normal person Batman had a relationship with.

              Hey...Batgirl's hot.

                   This tracks.

The only scene I like is that whole "speech" Batman gives at the beginning - variations of which have been pastiched for decades since:

 I played with the lighting on this shot to make it readable; I dislike how Bolland recolored everything in the reprints. 

So, Three Jokers is revealed to be a sequel in that it changes the fate of a character that appeared in The Killing Joke...technically, 2 characters, really. Aside from that twist, the real focus is on the psyche of the 3 heroes featured: Batman, Batgirl and Red Hood - Batman's ethics & morality, Batgirl's ambivalence and Red Hood's neuroses. Each of the 3 Jokers correspond with each hero in different ways; the Clown has the same capacity for violent impulses as Red Hood; the Criminal is as ambivalent and pragmatic as Barbara; the Comedian, like Batman, holds more cards than he lets on and plays them close. 

Jason Fabok's artwork  is fantastic, Geoff Johns scripts are his most deftly-crafted; this is a love-letter to the pre-Knightfall Batman comic books of the late-80's - early-90's, right before Batman: The Animated Series began to permanently set the style; there's a nearly-forgotten era of deceptively simple, gothic tales by Alan Grant & Norm Breyfogle, Marv Wolfman, Peter Milligan, Jim Aparo, Jim Starlin, Christopher Priest and Dennis O'Neil in the ongoing issues of Batman, Detective Comics and Legends of The Dark Knight, read by many who were brought into comic shops by the success of the 1989 Batman film, where the stories were told from a street-level/rooftop-level perspective, and the ethos of the film's story structure seemed to be echoed by the writers and artists. It was a golden time to be reading Batman comics. It's an amazing triumph for Three Jokers. It even offers a happy ending! There's a punchline for you...

It was better than good...better than good enough..

"Where IS Batman, Batwoman?"

Batwoman is the 3rd live-action TV series produced under the caveat that Batman is not available to make regular appearances in it. He made a cameo appearance in a flashback for the debut episode of Birds of Prey and made a fleeting appearance in the final episode of Gotham, but he has yet to appear at all in Batwoman, a series focusing on his maternal cousin, Kate Kane (nicely played by Australian model/actress Ruby Rose), discovering his secret identity and co-opting his spare costumes, gadgets & spare urban-based split-level Bat-cave at Wayne Enterprises office HQ all while Bruce Wayne remains in absentia...for three years..

This sets up a mystery that I think will remain unsolved for the sake of the series' lead not being overshadowed by the venerable caped crusader, but how could it be solved...in an interesting way? Why would Bruce Wayne abandon Gotham for three years? And where's the rest of the Bat-family in the context of this series? None of the Robins or Batgirls or even Commissioner Gordon...

Where is everybody?

Oh...there is an answer...but it's a dark one..

Y'know...people have been saying Batman and The Joker are 2 sides of the same coin for decades. I would say, in terms of superficial baseline ethics, yes, I agree. They like gadgets. They leave notes and calling cards behind. They dress in costume. The vehicles they drive are named after each other, respectively. They're both tricksters. Batman can be just as tricky as the Joker, but the idea of Batman becoming a Joker is how you get "The Batman Who Laughs", a Batman from an alternate/parallel Earth, set in "Dark Multiverse", who becomes the Joker after killing the clown prince of crime, only to wind-up unwittingly exposed to the toxin behind his arch foe's transformation. He immediately dispatches all the Bat-family members and his allies in the Justice League and the DCU before turning his attention to the multiverse itself...that's as far as I want to go with the recap...I'm not really a fan of the character - he exists as an attempt, I think, to capitalize on the popularity of Marvel Comics villain like Venom and Carnage, although, ironically, it's still the Joker that's going to sell the movie tickets.

Anyway, what makes The-Batman-Who-Laughs interesting to me, is that his backstory makes for a convincing argument for why Batman would disappear from Gotham for a considerable amount of time - he's running away, trying and failing to find a cure for his monstrous transformation. And now that he's failed, he's coming back to take back Gotham..in the worst ways imaginable.

NOW you have an opportunity to have Batwoman face a truly challenging opponent that probably won't appear in the movies and they can get away with in the CW "Arrowverse" because they already established the presence of a multiverse in their continuity. You can also get away with a recast, because you need an actor who can convincingly play a new take on Batman - a Batman who has embraced the identity of his worst enemy. The World's Greatest Detective wants to act like Hannibal Lector...wouldn't that raise the bar for Kate to show what she could do, eh?

I don't know if Greg Berlanti is willing to roll the dice like that for a time slot that used to be owned by Murder, She Wrote on family-friendly Sunday nights but it would be something..

The Fever is Coming Back...

 Every fan gets it - certainly a true comic book fan. I'm not talking about those two-arm,two-leg, "I'll-just-buy-one-issue-or-two-and-that's-my-collection" phonies or the "Oh,-these-comics-are-not-in-good-condition.-The-price-is-good-and-the-books-are-hard-to-find,-but-I'll-pass" and "This-shop-is-just-too-out-of-my-way-for-me-to-come-in-every-week" or "This-shopkeeper-is-racist!-I'm-never-coming-back!" pretenders. Feh!

  Comic books are like potato chips or gummy bears - you can never have just one. There's a reason why a serving of gummies is 15 bears. On the other hand, you can eat just one bon-bon - especially if it's that bitter, gooey, dark chocolate/caramel hybrid that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Have you ever seen anyone eat two of those back-to-back? Outrageous!

 Remember the days of "self-contained" stories? If not, you're young (and I didn't know young people bought comics - I just assumed you waited for your Mother to force Dad to get rid of his collection or wait for Gramps to kick the bucket. This is strictly an adult hobby - did you not see all the old people walking around the shop?). A self-contained comic was simply a story that was complete in one issue - you need not fear finding out if Batman succumbs to bumping off the Joker in part 2, because there was no part 2. Of course, nowadays we would buy part 2 to see if he does kill the clown, knowing that if he did, we'd be up to our armpits in ninja gangster stories - this will never happen...oh, wait, they do that anyway. Today, a self-contained issue is a "launching point" or a "key issue" for a new storyline - a point-of-entry for "new" readers who want to know where they can hop abroad the moving train. These issues tend to be a bit threadbare in plot and story - usually a thrown-together mash-up of stock activity (Batman taking down gang members, Captain America riding his motorcycle and throwing his shield, The X-Men having a picnic or playing baseball, Savage Dragon getting a recap of what went on before while he was out, Spider-Man chasing car thieves) and then two-three pages of set-up for a new storyline (never a story-just a storyline) where some sign of dread appears - maybe a character watching from the shadows or some poor fool getting killed. "Not the end...check next month's issue and read this Wednesday's Comics and Stories #508 for another angle and read Death Scooter #267 to see Wendell check out the action alone!"

 But wait a minute - if you're a lowest common denominator, hardcore comic book fan, you're not going to sit and wait for four weeks for the story to continue, you'll want to check out what happened last month and the month before that (in the case of Transformers comics, you'll be checking on the last two publishers that had the character license). That means you're at the mercy of the back issue aisle - a wretched hive of scum and villainy if there never was one. Here, you can expect to be charged a tax on used, dog-eared periodicals, or - even sneakier - a tax on last month's issue, which may not have been bagged or boarded, but left sitting next to the current issue on the stacks. Here, you can thumb through a stack of old books and wish for hand sanitizer after gazing at your fingertips caked with dirt. Here, you can stare at dead bugs trapped in Mylar. Here, you can sweat through your clothes like a pizza slice in a paper bag when you realize the shopkeeper shut off the air conditioner so that you'd run out of there. Ha! As if that will work!

 Wait a minute...those tricks do work. They do make anyone with half a brain turn around and say "Never again..." They do lose new customers and new readers who developed a genuine interest in comics but can only go as far as waiting for the next issue and ignore the recent past. Who can wait for next issue when it takes over a year for a storyline to resolve itself and the price of a new issue keeps going up beyond casual spending. The fever goes away...

 The fever never leaves the die hards, though, especially the ones with Debit and Credit in hand. Yes, yes, even in the days of Cap'n Credit Crunch and Fannie Big Mac/whatever, you'll still see people spend $30/$40 dollars a week on comics. These die-hards won't pause when the total rings up an additional 8.25/god knows what % sales tax that makes no sense (even less sense when the clerk explains that it's because "It's an old comic" - wtf ?).

 That is why a "jumping-on point" comic is not just a beginning - it's an ending. Yes, the first dose might even be "Free" (right, Free Comic Book Day?), but the next dose is always hardest to take. Once you've got the fever, the prescription is a trip out of the store, or a four-color cocktail of last month's, last year's, next month's, or tie-in issues. Down the hatch. Never say "when". Oh, and never think about whether the stuff is any good - generic comics are never a steal. Yes, some places do tax issues from the quarter/half-dollar bins.


Happy Wednesday.

One Life To Waste

Soon, perhaps not soon enough, One Life To Live, the ABC daytime soap opera, will be over...maybe. It may get a regeneration in the form of an online web series... or not. Whatever happens, its time on network television is running out, and will it go out with a bang - or like a cancelled comic book?

I often hear people use soap opera as an example of good storytelling in comics - "..the stories have enough of a soap opera-element to get the reader to want to ask ,'What happens next?'" Unfortunately, soap operas on television often belie this idea - they are the best examples of bad storytelling. Stories that have no plot last over a year, then extended if popular/unpopular because the writer has hit a dead end. Characters linger on past their sell-by date, bad teenage actors, weird plot connections, and worst of all, new characters are introduced either to pander to trends or further the current plot. One Life - set in an expanding working-class New Jersey town - has got it all - The Buchannon family were introduced to capitalize on the popularity of Dallas and never went back to Texas. A popular baby-switching storyline that featured Judith Light and Tommy Lee Jones (!) did not end until most of the principal characters had already left. Inner-city ghetto Angel Square and the Vega/Delgado families (Carlotta, Antonio, Christian and Tea) did not exist until the mid-90's. Before that, the show was mostly quaint New England coziness with looming skyscrapers thrown in. It was the middle-child among the ABC soaps, and , if you ask my Mom, the best years were 1993-1995, "...when they ended they story lines fast - on the next day, Joe! The next day!"  Oh, and the years when Jill Larsen played Ursula - a loony who liked to flirt with other loonies by showing her talent at building homespun electric chairs. You really had to be there to see that one. Then there's Eternia - the show's nadir. A fortune (well, in TV talk it was a fortune) spent imagining a lost city built by more-alive-when-dead tycoon Victor Lord and had all the excitement of a Land Of The Lost marathon. Eternia...Eternia - why does that sound familiar? ;)

Then there's Todd Manning. Former gang-rape leader turned tabloid newspaper magnate. As played by Roger Howarth, the character was the Joker of Llandview, PA (Didn't I just write that the town was set in New Jersey? Well, I guess Eternia took up so much space to build that all the people had to move to Pennsylvania, because the writer's have it set there, now). Always the first suspect in every crime (usually outwitting the slow-as-shit ne'er-do-well Commish, Bo Buchannon, and his comely wife Nora - the town DA) and represented by his ex-wife Tea Delgado (played like a Red Shoe Diaries character by Florencia Lozano, who often outsmarts everyone by talking down to them in a condescending manner : "Your honor, my client needed to have a time out because he did not get apple juice on his last play date.") When Howarth left, we had to endure his replacement, Trevor St. John, who played the character more like a cheap thug - you really felt like the writers needed to give up the ghost watching him play a character that had run out of mileage. Howarth came back, but they didn't want to lose St. John, so a contrived "Identical twins" twist was drunkenly pulled out someones posterior, and we've had to swallow that one for the last year or so, even after St. John left and his Todd (Victor Lord Jr.) was killed off by Howarth's Todd (ironically one of the few crimes he was actually guilty of).

I'm really leaving out a bunch of stuff, here. All the bad teen romances, the musical episodes ("We were more stoned pulling this crap out than we were when they came up with that Eternia thing.") , "Very Special Episodes" devoted to social issues that featured characters created by demand of social interest groups, and ... and... well, if it was really any good, it wouldn't be replaced by a show where a group of people with no last names tell you how to pick out clothes. Seriously, even divine intervention (Oprah) turned them down.

(for more information about the history of this cancelled TV show - I guess it's up to fan-fic now - consult Wikipedia by typing 'Tea Delgado', 'Todd Manning', 'Victoria Lord Reilly Buchannon Carpenter Davidson Balsam Buchannon', or 'One Life To Live')



UPDATE - March 27, 2012:  I noticed the online web series plan fell apart and ABC has decided to take four OLTL characters and add them to the cast of "General Hospital" - John McBain, Todd Manning, Blair Manning (yeah, she married Todd again) and Starr Manning. It was the most graceful of transitions: A car carrying Starr, her daughter Hope and husband/boyfriend/baby-daddy (I forget if they got married at all) Cole Thornheart on their way to Port Charles was wrecked in a botched hit arranged by Sonny (Maurice Bernard), the mob boss with a cold heart of gold. Instant conflict! Plus, Instant trip to ... General Hospital - the place where gangsters go to get patched up. The soap used to be a sudser dealing with medical-type stuff, but that gave way to storylines involving spies, gangsters, noisy fist-shaking tycoons, Rick Springfield, Elizabeth Taylor cameos, weight-lifting aliens, Dancing With The Stars contestants and James Franco as James Franco. my big complaint about the show is the cost-cutting measure to use the dimmest lighting possible - it looks like my tv is about to go. Oh, and it feels like there are too many characters, too many models for the camera (some of the actresses here look alike and they're not playing twins). With the OLTL gang in place (hopefully Robin Strasser - Dorian Lord - won't be far behind), it's time for some serious spring cleaning. Oh, and brighter lights, please.

The Christmas Playlist

Christmas Specials for 2011:

1. How The Grinch Stole Christmas

2. A Charlie Brown Christmas

3. Mickey's Christmas Carol

4. The Simpsons Christmas Special

5. A Flintstone Family Christmas

6. Doctor Who: The Next Doctor

7. The Proud Family (this Kwanzaa special is the best episode of the series - never mind that the holiday has been debunked - the meaning comes through very clear, here)

8. Winnie The Pooh and Christmas Too

9. Bugs Bunny's Christmas Tales

10. Yogi's All-Star Comedy Christmas Caper - just for all of you to stare and compare with the movie Elf and see what I mean. Wally Gator cameo!

Christmas themed episodes:

1. Married with Children

2. Darkwing Duck "It's A Wonderful Leaf"

3. Merry Christmas, Doctor Who (this is actually an outtake that has Tom Baker, Mary Tamm and K9 getting frisky with liquor bottles waved around) "What do you desire most for Christmas, Doctor?", asks K9. And Tom immediately glances at Mary Tamm. :) It's an extra on The Armageddon Factor-special edition DVD and on YouTube

4. Family Guy "A Very Special freakin' Christmas"

5. American Dad

6. Batman - "Holiday Knights" and "Christmas With The Joker"

Christmas Movies

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

2. A Christmas Story

3. Santa Claus: The Movie

4. Love, Actually (actually, this is just one for the ladies - so that's where Garry Marshall gets his ideas!)

5. Home Alone

Merry ChrismaHanuKwanRam3Kings Eve Everyone!

Graphic Blandishment Featuring Superman - Part 2

Symmetry...The Strand has copies of  Superman: Krisis of The Krimson Kyrptonite for $17.50. It's moments like that where I'm glad I found a nice copy of an old book for a better deal. In this case, it was a well-preserved copy for 5 bucks.

This book is the long middle chapter in a trilogy of sorts - 3 stories in which Mr. Mxyzptlk gets Lex Luthor into his "Mx". Here, we see him create/offer Red Kyrptonite to Lex as a kind of magic lamp - wish a fate upon Superman, and that wish is granted. Lex wishes Superman was his equal. The rock takes away Superman's powers.  Unlike Mr. Ebert, I will spoil it for you: the wish is valid on one condition - Lex cannot tell Superman where the rock came from. Lex brags about it to Clark Kent, instead, and Superman gets his powers back. 

That sounds awfully simple, right? Cute, right? Good enough to have been adapted into an episode of Superman: The Animated Series, yes? Of Course! Why didn't they do that?

That outline I just described was used as a kind of sandwich for 5 issues of a powerless Superman/Clark Kent riddled with doubt about his fate as a superhero. Aside from Lex and Mxy, we meet a lot of "run-of-the-mill" (quote lifted directly from the script!) villains who are not even 3rd string, and some soap opera about Clark proposing to Lois Lane (she said yes, but it seems the pros wanted her to say no - check the current Superman comics and see for yourself). There's a lot of late-80's continuity abound, but not enough to make you want to go back and check out those issues - it's really like looking at a moment in time - with one exception: Roger Stern's Starman seems likeable enough, and it was nice seeing a seemingly angst-free superhero guest star - his costume could use a redesign, though. Maybe give it the Starman costume Batman wore in that zany story that was reprinted in Batman: The Black Casebook? Just a thought...Oh, and Gangbuster seemed O.K., even though his bailiwick wound-up handed over to Steel in the 90's.

In the end, what works is the iconic stuff: Superman vs. Lex and Mxyzptlk, Round 2. I recall the 1st round had Lex tackle Mxy alone while Superman was in space for the Exile storyline. Round 3 was a story by my favorite Superman team, Jerry Ordway and Tom Grummett, which concluded the trilogy with a play on that familiar logic puzzle involving a choice between three levers and who's telling the truth about picking the right lever. Maybe someday they'll put all three stories together - or all the Modern Age Mxyzptlk stories from the 80's and 90's into one trade. They're very good.

This book has been out-of-print for years but is not too hard to find - I think the final fight between Mxy and Superman loosely inspired the chase sequence in the episode of the animated series that featured Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of Mxyzptlk. The idea of having the imp re-introduce old concepts in modern continuity, as well as offering power to other DC villains pretty likely inspired the Emperor Joker storyline as well. There's also one of the best inside jokes I've ever read in a superhero comic, courtesy of John Byrne.

In the past few weeks, I've reviewed two books collecting stories that featured Kryptonite. Both were very mixed, or "Mxyd" bags. Did DC get around to trying "Best 1 Out of 3"? Yes, Yes, they did...

Writing stories for other writers - Special One-shot, 2nd print

The idea of taking a comic book superhero "Back-to-Basics" is nothing new. Every few years, Batman has to demand a little "Alone Time" from his surrogate family of sidekicks and goes solo. The Justice League headquarters gets blown-up or abandoned in favor of a new pad run by a smaller team of six or seven. A hero retires for the civilian life and passes the costume to someone else (though this is often not as smooth as it sounds). A company goes belly-up and a new company aquires the characters and decides to start fresh. The Green Lantern Corps and the X-Men have a massacre or two. Savage Dragon gets regular 'breaks' -killed off and replaced by other 'Dragons' for a time in rotations. Spider-Man and Superman have chunks of recent history erased. The latter three are the most extreme examples.

There is an alternative to having a character wipe the slate clean to tell new stories - wipe the continuity slate clean to re-tell familiar stories. Now, it's one thing to re-tell the story of how Batman met the Joker to a new audience that's never read the old stuff before. It's one thing to want to re-tell an old story because the original seems dated (the origin of the Fantastic Four is an example). It's one thing to joke about how it seems like the only Spider-Man stories anyone wants to tell are the ones with the clone, the dead Uncle, the crappy boss, the dead girlfriend, and the feeble Aunt. But how about this: I'm re-telling a familiar story because I want a Hollywood screenwriter to see it and take ques from it.

Let us suppose that a movie starring ... J'onn J'onnzz, The Martian Manhunter is in development hell because the screenplay gathering dust lacks snap.  Well, how about re-launching his comic book (he managed to have one for a while on the heals of the successful JLA launch, which made the animated Justice League/Justice League Unlimited possible, which is a good example of this phenomena) but within the context of something hip and happening right now.

Bear with me...these pitches only sell in a single sentence, more or less:

"Martian Manhunter - It's like Twilight with superheroes - Taylor Lautner as J'onn J'onnz, the Manhunter from Mars - he'll have his shirt off for 1/2 of the film."

Now I'll plot a 12-24 issue arc that incorporates his origin, along with all the bells and whistles to make it fit my one-sentence pitch, and be sure to set it up in a way that could help launch a Martian Manhunter film.

That's an example of using a character that's okay, yet kind of so-so...he's actually the only member of the League that does NOT have a movie in the works. Not a single one. I figured playing an all-purpose superpowered semi-clothed Martian would be a cinch for a former sharkboy-turned-werewolf.

Now Geoff Johns has a storyline in the new Justice League comic book that's easy to visualize as a storyline for a movie - the league meets and teams up to fight the ultimate representation of pure evil in the DC Universe. Sure, they've spent the last two issues fussing over a Mother Box, but that's the stuff of deleted scenes. Besides, Mother Boxes are nifty. They're iphone12's - can you imagine? That's their function, yet they're often portrayed/talked about casually like old Rubix cubes, dial-up or Compuserve. Not here. They've spent two issues picking at it like the fancy toy that it is, even at risk of seeming like hitting a creative dead end. Whatever. I wish Marvel did something like that with the Cosmic Cube - what the heck is that, really? It's a strong-enough Macguffin to build an Avengers movie, that's what, and what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Besides, I don't find Darkseid very exciting. He's become more like a sparring partner at a boxing match than a really entertaining villain. A large statue with blinking laser eyes. All rope-a-dope. zzzzzzzzz...If the 1st six issues are devoted to this cosmic Chinese puzzle box with Darkseid creeping in for a cameo in the final panel - well, this was written for me to read, then!

Don't get me wrong - I'm not using my deductive powers for evil and predicting that Johns is going to try to top Joss' lil' ol' film before it clears the editing room, or that he's telling a familiar story with familiar plot devices to show how easy it would be to get a JLA movie made... well, yeah, I just did. I'm pretending I didn't so that I won't spoil my fun.

I wonder if Lautner has his own production company? He's got to stock-up on green spray paint for the big screen test...