It's Been A Pleasure...Part 1

The following are Guilty Pleasures in Pop Culture that offer an enjoyable experience in ways that must be explained:


(You'll notice that I wrote 'part 1' in the title. This post will be ongoing and yes, there is a comic book in this list)...


1. Knock Off - In 1997, Jean Claude Van Damme appeared with Rob Schneider in this action-comedy flick set during the Hong Kong Handover, in which the UK took their Union Jack off the flagpoll and let China replace it with their flag, under the proviso that the status quo in Hong Kong remain the same...ish. The muscles from Brusseles played Marcus Ray, a clothing manufacter with a shady past linked to bootleg merchandise. Schnieder played his business partner, an undercover CIA agent who was assigned to keep tabs on Marcus. Paul Sorvino played Schnieder's boss. Lela Rochon played a CIA agent working undercover as ... well, the whole point of the film is a series of double and triple-crosses concerning nano-bombs small enough to disguise as buttons on bluejeans or watch batteries, with Jean Claude being the guy who has to spot the real ones from the fakes (I'm quoting the trailer). The film is the forerunner for the Rush Hour movies, only less leaden and a better ensemble and some really good action sequences and showy camera angles using practical effects. I can watch this anytime.

2. The Life and Death of Peter Sellers - oh boy. You know the saying, "Never work with your heroes"? I knew what I was in for because I had read the Roger Lewis biography a year before seeing this, which was the source for it, as well as Ed Sikov's more sympathetic Mister Strangeglove, which I had read before the former. I had bought the DVD of this for the nice price of $1.99 last month and never regretted it, because I enjoyed it a lot. However... I must inform you that Peter Sellers, in real life, was an abusive, insecure, paranoid, egotistical, negative, drug-addled and self-destructive man-child who may have only been kind to Sophia Loren (who he was gaga over) and members of his old comedy troop, The Goons, though you'll get an argument from me that he kept them around as little more than his entourage. Once you get over that hurdle, you'll find how the screenwriters and director and the stars of the film (Geoffrey Rush actually becomes Sellers in some places, Charlize Theron and Emily Watson are terrific, Stanley Tucci awesome as Stanley Kubrick) are able to bring this actor to life one more time. BTW, I wouldn't mind seeing Rush play Clouseau in a Pink Panther film. Perhaps that Romance of The Pink Panther which was originally intended to wrap the series and was co-written by Sellers. This is not the only time an artist belied his/her own work with their personality/private life - it seems like just a matter of course, really. What's interesting is I can still watch any movie with Sellers after this. Hey, he was dead before I turned one!

3. Azrael, Agent of The Bat - I wonder if people picked this book up for kick-ass violence and superhero action. If you did, you probably didn't find it at all satisfying. That's because this book, the thinking man's Spawn , was all about a vehicle for Dennis O'Neil to tell stories. I don't think he was conciously aware of it, but over the course of 100 issues, O'Neil was reflecting on how costumed superheroes go through different incarnations and change in order to stay relevant. Azrael's various costume changes were part of the character's evolution: first as an obvious Spawn-wannabe, then a member of the Bat-family, then finally his own man before reverting back to his own form of "AzBat-Man" by choice. A lot has changed in the DCU in the decade since he was killed off, but some characters are too good to stay buried. I'm still surprised how jolly that book was. More like a dark pulp-gothic comedy than average superhero soap opera fare.


4. Victorious - There are many tv shows out there that have what is sometimes referred to as "The secret weapon" - a character played by an actor or actress whose performance makes it the reason to keep watching - often the only reason. Even if, on average, they get less than 3 minutes of screentime when they do appear - if at all! On Seinfeld, it was Wayne Knight as Newman. On Futurama, it was Bender the robot. In The Electric Company, it was Ashley Austin Morris as Francine Carruthers. In Victorious, it is Daniella Monet as Trina Vega. Every time she arrives, she gets the whole joint jumping. When she disappears, we realize how dull the show - an interchangable carbon copy of most teen sitcoms - and its main cast are. In fact, the producers should consider a spinoff: What Was Trina Doing?, which, just like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (or "The Zeppo" or "Lion King 1 1/2", for those of you who don't know), would show what Trina was doing for the remaining 19 of the 22 minutes she was kept offscreen.
It also doesn't hurt that the talented Ms. Monet wears micro-mini skirts and short-shorts in almost every scene she's in. Nice legs. She's 23 and was 20 when the show started. Of course that means that she was 23 when the show started and is 26 now - that's the way it is.

5. A View To A Kill - This was the first James Bond film I remember watching, as well as the first I remember watching in a theatre. In fact, it's actually the only one I've seen in a theatre! But this is not about nostalgia: I still find it to be an entertaining James Bond movie. It's got gadgets, locations, crazy villains (Christopher Walken before he became Christopher Walken - you know what I mean), literal cliffhangers borrowed from silent movie serials, (the finale looks like a scene from The Perils of Penelope Pitstop), some hot greasy-lipped 1980's Bond Girls ("Hey, it's the other mom from That 70's Show!") and Grace Jones, who, well, fans of Roger Moore say he gets bonus points for having made out with her and lived - few men can boast that accomplishment. It's also got an awesome soundtrack by John Glen and the title song by Duran Duran is a perfect Bond theme, even if the lyrics are ... strange. Bonus fact: if you've ever read the Bond spinoff novels by John Gardner, you'd cry deja vu after seeing this film and Never Say Never Again after reading Role of Honor. Video games and Blimps? Yes.

A Technical Knockout

So, here's the big question: who'd win in a fight? Superman or The Hulk?


I'm out-of-sorts this week. As I get older, I find that a fever is followed by a cough, then a swollen ear. I can only hear good with my left and I'm watching for sudden gusts of wind.

I was asked the above question on Monday at the library, after I had returned their copy of Justice League Vol. 1, Origin. I thought it was okay, a bit of an obvious attempt at offering a blueprint for anyone producing a live-action film adaptation, including timely bits of characterization (I think Geoff was counting on the Green Lantern film to be a hit, because Hal has a lot more screen time than he ever did in an average issue of JLA). The librarian, a dark-haired and cute, if slightly overweight (Carolyn Keene's unfortunate description of George Fayne & Bess Marvin forever stayed in my head) wanted to know what I thought:

"Superman. Because he has all these powers and ... actually the Hulk fights dirty, so he'd win it."

I can't help thinking that I've been poisoned by 20-30 years of bad comic book writing. Of course Superman could take down the Hulk - he could toss the green giant into space. He could combine his x-ray vision and heat vision and perform laser surgery on ol' jade jaws. He could use his ice breath to give Hulk frostbite. He could run fast enough to make him dizzy. And he's STRONG. He used to be able to move PLANETS! And that's when he's not "holding back", as if we're even sure what that's supposed to mean..

"Used to". That old chestnut of showing how tough a bad guy is by punching out Supey with one blow has done a lot of damage. His rogues gallery is actually better than the Hulk's - one of the few examples in which you can say it is so. Okay...you know what? Hawkman and The Atom's rogues gallery is pretty weak. Daredevil's is even worse. Does Ant-Man even have a rogues gallery? And then there's that cruel YouTube fan film - a lovingly made, knock-down, drag-out, cgi brawl between the Hulk and a comparatively frail Superman that vaguely resembles Christopher Reeve (talk about pouring salt on an open wound). I'd rather let you guys search for this all-too-convincing brouhaha than offer a direct link. The last few seconds will made even the most hardened fan hide behind the sofa. Hey, if you didn't see it, it didn't happen.

So, for the record, Superman wins. We're just not likely to ever see it. Same thing with a Superman vs. Wolverine brawl - I recall Wolverine slammed The Vision against an ice cream truck once ... isn't The Vision one of the few characters that could kick his ass? Guess not. Hey, is anybody interested in a crossover where Lex Luther replaces Wolverine's adamantium skeleton with a kryptonite skeleton and brainwashes him to go after Superman? Well, I guess that's just me, then...

Why Moore Serious?

Commitment is something I like to see in a comic book fan...actually, that's what the publisher would like to see. And the shops. 

If you have $120.00 saved for this summer, then that means you're planning to buy all 35 issues of Before Watchmen. Does it really matter that Moore had nothing to do with this one? We're all used to reading comics featuring characters written and drawn by writers and artists who are not the original creators. The same goes for cartoons, too. It's argued that Tex Avery and Bob McKimson created Bugs Bunny (the definitive version of the cartoon rabbit that had been floating in Warner Brothers cartoons under the same name) and they've been dead for decades. Should we have stopped reading Batman comics after Bill Finger got fired? Should we have quit reading Spawn when Todd MacFarlane stopped writing and drawing every issue? If we did take that hard line,we'd only accomplish saving money to buy other stuff. Why be Moore serious?

We have a way out - we don't need to feel like we're getting caught, we don't need to wear that long overcoat with the collar turned-up. When the sales numbers come in - actually, they're already in - they'll just show copies ordered by the stores. We're not in the middle, the shops are! We're just reading what we like! If we don't like Watchmen, we wouldn't be reading it, would we? We wouldn't pick Before Watchmen up thinking it will turn gold, now, right? Besides, this is no different from when soap operas would dust off old characters. When All My Children brought Angie and Jessie back from limbo in 2008, nobody complained much, even though it's audience had to be aware that this was an obvious sign none of the characters created in the two decades since those two left were clicking. Did it work? All My Children has been cancelled and has stayed that way since last year.

It won't work. Not because Alan Moore has gone on the record in interviews saying that this is a sign of total creative bankruptcy, or that the "talent" involved is not talented, otherwise they could have done something original and not a prequel to someone Else's story. Watchmen is all about telling a story. I did not get a hankering for a sequel about the Minutemen, because Alan had deconstructed them too well to offer anything more. Ditto the rest of the characters - what's Nite-Owl like in his prime? Ted Kord (Blue Beetle)? Daredevil? Batman? Is Dr. Manhattan more interesting than the Silver Surfer or Captain Atom? How about Rorschach and The Question? Or Silk Spectre and Nightshade or Black Canary or Huntress or The Wasp? It might be interesting to see what an Ozymandias comic would be like, but we've already seen what Alan Moore could do with him... This comic was all about a particular story and it accomplished more than it was meant to already. And I didn't care to read it a second time.

But that's not why it won't be a hit. Look at the teams involved. Two of the books involve artists not known for being fast. Two of the books are written by an egomaniac/windbag. Two of the books are written by someone who is better at one job than another. Two of the books are written by a journeyman. It's a very motley crew. If anyone's saving money on this, it's because only the first issues will have arrived on time.
We're in the middle, aren't we? No, I'd argue we're in the space between the middle. We're interdimensional. The whole thing could be a hit or a bomb and because these are planned well in advance, there's another event planned in the horizon that will get our attention. How did we get here? The past is a different country, they did things differently there... And when mistakes are made, they're in the past. The present is always a new country. And I don't miss All My Children or One Life To Live. Will we miss superhero comics?

The New Traveller's Alamnac: No $#!+ Sherlock Edition for the Sher-Locked

Gentlemen:


Produced herewith is a supplement to our well-received compendium, this time with the focus centered on the exploits of a famous and celebrated British consulting detective, which happened concurrently with the farragoes of the illustrious team in service to Her Majesty's defense, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, formerly known as "Prospero's Men". We are reproducing notes made by one of our lower-ranking agents disguised as an employee of a respectable bank in England, who, with considerable risk, opened a safety deposit box belonging to Dr. John Watson and examined the contents.  "J"'s notes are highlighted where appropriate:

Pre-1898: It appears the great detective was known to have encountered one member of Ms. Murray's League prior to 1898...

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Holmes by Loren D. Estleman

1898 M or M ?: The year in which Ms. Murray's League assembled was a busy one...

The Peerless Peer by Philip Jose Farmer - It is not known if Lord Greystoke ever joined an American counterpart to the League, or if one existed prior to 1939, though Mr. Farmer hints that the services of  a Mr. Spider, Mr. Savage , Det. Tracy,  Ms. Drew, Mr. Colt, Mr. Carter, Ms. Pinkerton and Mr. Cranston were likely enlisted within the 39 year range.

Seance For A Vampire by Fred Saberhagen - Perhaps Mr. Holmes was reluctant to meet with his cousin's unrequited love interest. It would explain a lot...the sanguinary Count appears to have made no effort at a reunion, perhaps due to embarrassment...

The Seven Per Cent Solution by Nicholas Meyer - This is an amusing attempt by Dr. Watson to try and appease Colonel Moriarty's libel suit by bringing the Great Detective's drug addiction to light and improve Professor Moriarty's tarnished public image...*

The Canary Trainer by Nicholas Meyer - Holmes himself narrates this tale of his adventure during "The Great Hiatus" when everyone thought he was dead. He wasn't lonely - Miss Irene Adler and a known "Phantom" were present...*

The Star of India by Carole Bugge - This faintly comic escapade occurred shortly after Holmes' return to the land of the living and features Dr. Watson's first meeting with our head of Military Intelligence, mere days before he befell his tragic fate in Limehouse.*

Late 1898: Martian Invasion of Earth

The War of The Worlds by Manley W. Wellman & Wade Wellman - Holmes was accompanied by Professor Challenger in this adventure, a useful account of events in London while Ms. Murray was with Mr. Quartermain in the country.

The Giant Rat of Sumatra by Richard L. Boyer - It would seem Mr. Holmes has had his own brushes with weirdness...*

Jack The Ripper:

A Study In Terror by Ellery Queen - A savvy account  of Holmes investigation by an American rival...*

The Last Sherlock Holmes Story by Michael Dibdin - well, it has been said that Holmes seemed different after his "resurrection". This may have been Watson's early effort at damage control after a severe drug relapse. Holmes' often-described lament at Moriarty's passing has dangerous consequences...*

The West End Horror by Nicolas Meyer - Holmes is back in fine form solving what appears to be a copycat crime and even encounters his cousin's biographer, Bram Stoker.*

1904-1915 None of Your Beeswax: We are now coming to the strangest period of the Great Detective's life - his sudden and unexpected retirement and desire to become a keeper of bees.

The Breath of God by Guy Adams - Ms. Murray's encounter with Oliver Haddo in 1910 is well-chronicled, but it would appear that Holmes and Watson had their own encounter with the man, as well as teaming up with Thomas Carnaki, of Ms. Murray's second League. Watson may have thought the events were too recherche for the public and changed the names of the persons involved. Mr. Haddo is split into two aliases -identified as "Alistair Crowley" and"Karswell Trelawney", here. * 

"The Adventure of Hillerman Hall/aka, How A Hermit Was Disturbed In His Retirement" by Julian Symons - A young woman from the village of St. Mary Mead approached Holmes begging for his help in a private matter. Mr. Holmes did not catch "Jane"'s  full name, but it may have been "Marble" or "Maple"...*

The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King - beginning in 1915, Mr. Holmes life was forever changed by the entrance of Miss Mary Russell, a young American woman who begins her long association with him first as an apprentice, then as his wife. It is through Miss Russell's accounts that we also learn of Sherlock's 2nd child with Irene Adler, Damian, an artist who signs his work, "The Addler".*

The Royal Jelly Factor: Evidence exists hinting that Holmes may still be alive...

The Golden Spiders by Rex Stout - A representative sample of an account of Holmes 1st-born with Irene Adler, Auguste Dupa, who underwent a name change and enjoyed a successful, if not particularly exciting career as a private detective.*

The Pirate King by Laurie R. King - Holmes flirts with a second avocation by making his screen debut opposite his wife with a small part in a silent film...*

A Three Pipe Problem by Julian Symons - ...and here we learn of his stage name, Sheridan Hayes...

Sherlock - Presumably tired of acting, a younger actor assumes the role in reenactments of his recent caseload, which involves working in tandem with descendants of his brother Mycroft and of John Watson. The Moriarty and Adler family trees extend well into the 21st century and have been documented elsewhere...*

Elementary! - chronicling his experiences in the colonies in the present-day, alongside Dr. Watson's Chinese great-granddaughter. 

Sherlock Holmes in The 22nd Century - there is some speculation that a descendant of Inspector Lestrade transmitted messages via unconfirmed technology to Mycroft Holmes in 1898, assuring him that a confidential cloning/cryogenic longevity experiment has been a complete success...*

Thus completes our supplementary companion. We hope it clears everything up.


*Note: all items marked with an "*" are an attempt by the lickspittle "J" to indicate he is familiar with the facts pertained within. He has been deported back to the colonies with great haste.

Garfield, plus Spider-Man, minus Jon

Is it time? I like to time these posts just right...I'll time it with the box of movie tie-in cereal  I just bought. It was terrible, like stale Frankenberry. Oh, and Mr. Kellogg, Curt Conners is The Lizard, not The Green Lizard. Though judging by the teeny-tiny photo provided, he looks like what Killer Croc could look like.

The only thing that could top a new Spider-Man movie would be an Avengers movie, or a new Batman movie by Christopher Nolan. Both are out this year. So is that why the reaction to the new film with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone (as Gwen Stacey) is a bit "hm...okay."? What happened?

Well, we're getting a retelling of the origin. Do we need it? The 2002 film was loosely based on the Stan Lee/Steve Ditko original, but it also mish-mashed with/incorporated bits and bobs of Brian Michael Bendis' update from Ultimate Spider-Man. A brightly-colored spider bit Tobey on his hand as he tried to use the class trip as an excuse to get off the bench and reach first base with Mary Jane. Something new was added: Organic web shooters. No, that's not an exclusive kitchen gadget sold at Whole Foods, that means that Spidey's webs came out of his arm - his body could secrete spider silk, conveniently through his wrists and not his buttocks, like a real spider. You know, if Stan and Steve had spider silk emerge from Peter's buttocks, then Kim Kardashian would be cast as Spider-Woman. Yes, that is the train of thought I'm riding on - welcome aboard. I'll derail that train now.

Spider-Man's powers were that he gained the proportionate strength and reflexes of a spider - which meant that he didn't grow eight arms (though that happened later as a side-effect of an attempt to remove his powers), but he did have the ability to stick to surfaces voluntarily and also a psychic "Spider-Sense", which warned him of danger. Since he was not born with these powers, he is not considered a mutant. The spider silk that came from his arms was a manufactured  super-strong polymer he invented - along with the "web shooter" a touch-sensitive gadget that fires this compound like silly string. when fired, the webs are flexible enough for Spidey to manipulate it, sculpting into shapes like a club, glider wings, a shield, a sphere and even decoys. It hardens after a few minutes and dissolves completely after an hour. In Ultimate Spider-Man continuity, the formula for this compound was an unfinished project of Richard Parker, Peter's father, who was a scientist. In "classic" continuity, Richard and Mary Parker were S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents - it's not clear if Marvel ever tried a combination of the two approaches, but perhaps the upcoming film will. The cartoon spin-off of USM eschews the continuity of that book in favor of an idea hinted at - that all superhuman are drafted into becoming government agents and put into active duty.

When Raimi ditched the "mechanical web shooters" in favor of "organic web shooters", it launched a flame war on the Internet. Why? The big reason is that it takes away an important element of Peter Parker's character - his intelligence. Without that, or without something in its place, he can come off like a cipher. Stan and Steve opted to show how bright Peter was in a distinctive way - not some backyard project that he had been tinkering with, but an invention that he created for one purpose - to fight crime as Spider-Man. Raimi made Peter more lovestruck and less cerebral, so he came off as a sap. Regrettably, the comic books followed suit. Writers now create suspense by making you wonder if Spider-Man is going to be a patsy to another character's schemes in every new storyline. Raimi's decision created a ripple effect that changed Spidey's characterization. He reasoned that it was more realistic than "...creating a miracle polymer and not even think of selling it to 3M for a couple million bucks," yet very little about superhero comics is realistic. Consider how in X-Men comic Wolverine has always been the big  draw, while more-powerful characters like Storm, Jean Grey and even Iceman wind up sidelined in some way or other.

One choice Raimi made that made sense was to feature Mary Jane Watson as the main love interest in the series. This is because in the comics, she eventually became Peter's wife - and still is, if you're reading the Spider-Man newspaper strip. In the comic books, however, the marriage has been written out of continuity to allow for a more flexible status quo. (I'm staying out of that particular debate right now - that's an entry for another time)

Peter Parker's only had two love interests that could be considered serious - Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane. Gwen was killed-off in a memorable storyline in the late 70's. Writers often find her to be a more plausible love interest than M.J. and have been tempted to bring her back from the dead, first as a clone, then as part of new spin-off media tie-ins/retro-continuity. The past is a different country - they did things differently there. I'm sure if Gwen were still around, the writers would have the same problems that they have with M.J. or Aunt May - and they killed her off in 1994, bringing her back from the dead in 1998!

I actually dread seeing Dennis Leary as Captain George Stacey. The clips we saw in the trailer hint a leaden performance and some cliched, kitchen sink conflict/melodrama, yet in the comics, George was an likeable character - his death is actually technically more effective than the death of Gwen, whose final scenes were as a limp rag doll tossed around.

There's not much to be said about the Lizard beyond the "The Green Lizard" rubbing the rhubarb. He's a popular villain, but every story with him is usually the same. Oh, well, he gets his moment.

I recall Sam Raimi's idea for the 4th Spider-Man film would have been to feature The Sinister Six - just mad,mad,mad - but brilliantly mad! I think he wanted to show off that it could be done, since the most villains we've had in a superhero movie to date is four, if your counting the film tie-in to the 1966 Batman show with Sir Adam West. Speaking of Batman, I can't help but wonder who the heck is Joseph Gordon Levitt playing...he's eating up too much trailer footage to be anyone but the Riddler. Well, the trailer talks in riddles...

Oh, and  yellow eyes! The last time I saw this was the old Spider-Man cartoons of the past. Every idea gets used. Almost. I think a live-action Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends would work. Jennifer Lawrence or Emily Browning as Firestar, Ryan Gosling or Taylor Lautner as Iceman. Mr. Muggles (from Heroes) as Ms. Lion. Judi Dench as Aunt May. Megan Fox as Spider-Woman. Tobey Maguire as The Beetle. Flo Rida as The Hypno Hustler. John Slattery as Silvermane. Seth Macfarlane as the voice of Video Man.  Go for it!

The Thrill of The Hunt!

Just like Free Comic Book Day, I'm offering a reprint/special edition of a column that was once titled, "Selective Six featuring Comic Book Rehab". The advice offered is still within it's sell-by date. Unless Fantagraphics is offering a surprise in conjunction with their elaborate hardcover reprints of Carl Barks material, there's no Disney offering this year. :(  However, IDW is offering a preview of Simon Furman's new Transformers comic, ReGeneration One, which sounds neat, even if it's planned to be a continuation of comics that are not available within easy means at the moment...


 Let me know what you've got your eye on or how you feel about the state of the event - or any "on-the-scene coverage" and what you actually managed to pick up. It's possible that I might wind up dog sitting tomorrow and will have to miss the fun. 'Not the first time - I remember I missed out on Gemstone's reprint of "Maharajah Donald" due to weekend College classes, but just a few months ago I found Gladstone's giant-sized reprint from the early 90's - part of their "Carl Barks Library of Donald Duck Adventures In Color". 'jeez, that was a long title. Did they ever get around to doing a "The Carl Barks Library of Grandma Duck's Farm Friends In Color"? Wouldn't be surprised. Don't count on finding any of those free comics for free when the day is over...

Enjoy. And this one's complete...not a preview. ;)


ComicBookRehab: The Thrill of The Hunt!: I've made allusions to hunting and "The World's Most Dangerous Game" in regard to Free Comic Book Day - which is this Saturday, May 5th - be...

Super-Poseable Action Figures Assemble!

I'm going to pretend I've never searched on the internet before. When I do that, I find that I have no clue what the Avengers is about. I think there's a follow-up on stuff from previous movies featuring these characters. There's Scarlett Johansson in tight pleather (check, and I do mean checked), The Thor guy (haven't seen that one yet), the Human Torch guy (haven't seen Captain America yet), the 3rd Hulk (well, I guess we really can avoid those two movies with him), Hawkeye (I saw Last of The Mohiccans), Nick Fury (star of many end-credit bonus scenes) and a lot of extra monsters left over from Wrath of The Titans (in this job market, one must not rest on their laurels). No sign of the Wasp, Ant-Man or Vision and Scarlet Witch (funny how an actress named Scarlett doesn't get to play that character) or Wonder Man, Beast (is Kelsey Grammer busy?), Spider-Man (well, there is a secret scene, but it's not much of a secret) and Spider-Woman (fingers crossed - maybe they squeezed Megan Fox in there).

As for Joss Wheddon - cross your fingers. This is really a big comeback for him after a number of mechanical    sci-fi duds (Firefly, Dollhouse). If you are a fan of those, my apologies. Those DVD boxed sets don't come cheap and are not casual spending, so more power to you. You're a real fan. Seriously, the only real forseeable weakness of the Avengers movie is that it could come off very mechanical and have nothing to say beyond, "Hey, we paid-off all those end-credit scenes, didn't we?"

One last observation: while the team line-up may look like a nod to the ebb and flow of the Avengers roster over the years and the plot outline may be a nod to Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's  issue #1 of the series,  it reminds me of  Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen:

Mina Murray: Black Widow
Captain Nemo: Iron Man
Doctor Jekyll/Mister Hyde: Bruce Banner/Hulk
Allan Quartermain: Captain America
Invisible Man: Hawkeye  (a stretch? Maybe not...in recent years, Clint Barton had gone into hiding as Ronin after his supposed "death" - plus, they're wiseacres)

Well, we know the heroes will win in the end - because they have a Hulk...and a very relaxing luxury office, with a built-in, self-serve drinking bar.